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 Post subject: A little depressed
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:06 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 10:59 pm
Posts: 3
Hi to all. I'm new to this website. I'm also 30 weeks pregnant and really looking forward to this being over! I've been very sick, in and out of the hospital, on bed rest and on an IV at home. Now I'm not so sick but I'm tired all the time and very out of breath. I'm so happy to be having a baby, my first, but I'm sick of being so sick.

But what I really wanted to talk about is that I'm havng a bit of an issue with my family. My mother has not spoken to me since back in August when I told her I was pregnant. She wasn't mad about the pregnacy- she was already mad at me about something else. Since August she had moved to a different part of town - left me no forwarding address or phone number. I've come to terms that she is not going to be in my life anymore. My husband is trilled to not have to deal with her any more but I feel like a big part of my life is missing. My baby is going to be a girl and I want to be a much better mother to her then my mother was to me.

I needed to vent - as my friends and husband have heard it all before and just don't see why I can't "let it go".


Last edited by vandeolkon on Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:27 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:30 pm
Posts: 599
Location: Toronto
Oh hun! I know how you feel about the whole "So sick of being pregnant, ready to get it all over with" thing, I'm 39 wks! :shock: This is also my 1st baby and a girl as well! I'm really sorry to hear about your mom and everything! Don't expect anyone who is not currently "hormonally challenged", least of all a MAN ( :wink: ) to understand how you are feeling. If you need a motherly figure to talk to do you get along with your MIL? I know it's not the same but it may help. Anyway again sorry you are going through so much crap especially when you are pregnant! If you want to talk more feel free to pm me! I hope you start to feel better soon! Just remember that you will have your little girl in your arms very soon now! It's almost over! Good luck!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 11:44 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 10:59 pm
Posts: 3
Thanks for the message! I just needed to vent! My mother in law is really sweet and will be a wonderful grandma (she already has two other grandchildren) but you know it's just not the same. I realized a few days ago that I don't have any photos of my childhood as my mom has them all. My baby is going to miss out on so much not having another grandmother. But even if my mom called me I won't have much to do with her at this point. I just know when I'm in labor I'm going to want my mom. Last time I was in the hospital I kept asking my husband when she was coming and he did call her (this was before she moved) to tell her I was there - but she never called back or came to visit me. She really dislikes me for several reasons - mostly because, as she puts it, we are just too different. I don't think a week has gone by where I haven't dreamed about my mom. I'm just so sad all the time about it.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 2:36 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:30 pm
Posts: 599
Location: Toronto
Yes that is too bad...Hmm I know that I REALLY don't know the situation or anything but mabey it's for the better, as cold as that may sound. If she really dosn't want anything to do with her daughter, especially knowing that you are about to give birth (for the first time no less) to her grandbaby, mabey it's better if your daughter dosn't know her? Your mom would probably have reservations twoard her anyway if she feels so coldly twoards you...I don't know I'm probably way off; just trying to help I guess. Well try to look on the bright side (as cliche as that may sound), at least your daughter will have one loving and kind grandmother right? If it's any consolation my daughter's "other" grandma is no peach either, she is a very distant and cold type of a person, I don't really like her much at all but she is my bf's mother :? Also I know she is your Mom and all but I wouldn't be too worried about your daughter missing out b/c she only has one Grandma, if she dosn't know what she's missing then how can she miss it. My mother's parents died before I was born so I never knew them either. I don't think I missed out, mabey developed a stronger relationship with my living grandparents if anything. Anyway I'll apologize in advance if I've said anything that has upset you in any way...I know you must miss your mom and you must really need her in this time of your life, I'm really sorry that she has let you down and isn't there for you when you need her. Like I said I don't know the situation and I'm sure you both have your reasons. I hope things get better for you soon! :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 5:05 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2005 10:59 pm
Posts: 3
NO - everything you've said has been really helpful! Like I said I know I'm just being depressed and winy but I really just needed to vent about this - just get it out in black and white and really see it. I wondered too if anyone else has had this situation, but it's so odd I'm thinking not.
Anyways - you've been very helpful! I mean it! It just helps sometimes to think out loud to someone else!!
Thanks again!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2005 2:31 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:30 pm
Posts: 599
Location: Toronto
Not a problem! I'm very glad that I was able to help! It is ok to be depressed and whiny when you are pregnant! I do it all the time :wink: I'm happy you are feeling a bit better now :D Again I hope things continue to get better for you!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 8:50 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2004 8:52 pm
Posts: 41
Location: Australia
I sort of no where your comming from,my mum and i never really got on but when i moved out of home and fell pregnant with Corey i noticed a real change in her,she even came for the birth.For the first time in years i felt like i had a mum who cared and loved me and when i fell pregnannt with Caleb she really wanted to be there for the birth but she had just started a new job so she couldnt come.Anyway when Caleb was 6 weeks old a get a phone call from mum telling me she had cancer and didnt no how bad it was until she saw the specialist,a couple of weeks go by and she rings me and says she saw the specialist and there was nothing to worry about then 2 weeks after that i get another phone call saying my mum had died in hospital,it turnes out she new she had terminal cancer (from when she found out to when she died was a month)and only told my stepfather and my 2 half brothers.Anyway my point is that if you really miss your mum you should try and find her somehow,because if i had 1 wish it would be to bring my mum back again as i miss her so much.(sorry about how long it is)


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