Baby Place

dannithompson15 · Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 2 Location: Brisbane

Hey.. I'm only 16 turning 17 this year, and i really want a baby. Its all i can think about, as well as moving out. Most people my age that want to have a baby only want it to be loved, but im the opposite... I want to love. And i want to deticate my life to someone else. I have already bought a puppy and he is gorgeous and just fine, so that wont fix the problem. I am extremely mature and have thought about finances and moving out and kids since i was 14. I have got a job and i am trying as hard as i can to tell myself that i am way to young for a child and that its stupid. My mother had me when she was 16 and she did a great job, and is still with my birth father after all the stuff she has gone through. I dont mind being a single mum, but i dont know what to do! Why am i thinking like this.. is it wrong? what should i do !!

Hannah's Mommy · Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 598 Location: Trono

you don't mind being a single mom.............god I wish I could smack you!

WHAT ABOUT THE BABY?!?!?! I am 19, and a single mother, (I did NOT try to get pregnant!) and nothing upsets me more than knowing that my sweet little girl doesn't have a daddy to look up to. GOD! A baby is not a PET! It's a human being with needs and emotions! you have NO idea what you're talking about! A baby isn't just some sweet cooing little thing that smiles up at you 24/7!! It's hell for me at 19 WTF do you think it'll be like at 17!! GO TO SCHOOL, GET A CAREER, MARRY A GOOD MAN, GROW UP then think about bringing a innocent baby into this world!

GAAHHH!! Evil or Very Mad

Suzanne · Joined: 22 Mar 2005 Posts: 234

You sound like a compasionite young woman, and someday you should make a wonderful mother. However, if you have a baby now, you do not have what it takes to truly be a wonderful mother. I know several unwed teenage moms. They do the best job that they can, but each and every one of them realize that life would be better (not to mention easier) for both baby and mom if they could have waited until they were older to have children.

You will TRUELY be doing an injustice to a new life if you had a baby now. There is NO DOUBT in my mind that you will SERIOUSILY regret the decision if you have a baby now.

dannithompson15 · Joined: 09 Jan 2006 Posts: 2 Location: Brisbane

Thanks for your feedback on this. And i would never even consider having a child if i thought i was being cruel to it. I know the baby is not a pet, and i also know that it would be good to have a dad to look up to, but if worse comes to worse i would be fine by myself thats what i ment. I also know that its bad to have a baby at my age, and i dont think i will because i dont want to hurt anybody, especially my parents. I just want advice as to why i shouldnt, trust me i hate thinking like this because it would cause alot of pain for everyone but the thought of having a baby is still sitting in the back of my mind all the time.

gemma · Joined: 08 Jan 2006 Posts: 3 Location: st.helens

hi i dont think there is anything wrong with you at all, lots of young girls feel like this but i do think you are not thinking long term you will have this child for the rest of your life whether you change your mind or not. i had my first child 5 days after my seventeenth birthday and i was ok about it even though her dad left me when i was 5 month pregnant but then reality hit home ,i then had problems bonding with her but didn't get any help thinking they would think i was a bad mum because i was young. thankfully i met a man 3 month after she was born and he accepted her i am now 23 and married to that man with 2 other children but it hasn't been without its problems. through experience i think you should wait untill you are more settled with a serious secure relaisionship and possibly a career i am only just now going back to college this year to study midwifery but its going to be very hard because i have other priorities as well. also my first child knows my husband is not her dad and that is very confusing for her, she has seen her real dad but only 6 years later and one minute he phones and says he wants her then he doesn't turn up this hurts her very much. it also causes arguments with my husband because he doesnt like her real dad. unless you could cope with your child looking into your eyes and asking questions like why did my daddy run off, or why does my daddy not love me then i would think twice about putting it through that uneccasarily. at the end of the day it is your choice but please think about all the things that could go wrong and ask yourself is it worth it . you have my sympathy for your feelings Very Happy

Bubbles · Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Posts: 17 Location: texas

Hi, im 16 and have a daugher. I dont think you are crazy because i remember wanting a baby, but i knew not to go off getting pregnant. I wanted my children to have financial support and a loving family. luckily i got pregnant by a guy who truly loves me and has a great job and i am lucky enough to homeschool and stay at home with my daughter. BUT everyone isnt as lucky as me. i know exactly what hannahs mommy is talking about when she says she hates that her little girl doesn't have a daddy to look up to. i couldnt do it without her daddy...physically i could do it but mentally it would kill me because i want her to have a great family life.

Melisalee · Joined: 25 Oct 2005 Posts: 39

Bubbles · Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Posts: 17 Location: texas

because i grew up without one.

Melisalee · Joined: 25 Oct 2005 Posts: 39

HeatherHerzek · Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Posts: 153

Hannah's Mommy · Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 598 Location: Trono

Well (just a difference of opinion here hun) I think that there is a huge difference between never knowing a father, and having to live with the guilt every day of knowing that you screwed up and couldn't give your child a daddy and a "proper" family. There are many important things that having a father gives a child ESPECIALLY a little girl. There is a good chance that Hannah, without having a good male role model, will have issues with men when she gets older. I have to live with that. I have to live with the questions, and problems that will indefinately arrise when she gets older. I had/have a dad but, bless his soul, he worked (and still does) like a DOG and wasn't really there for me or my brothers growing up, he was not a big part of my childhood. I did grow up to have issues with men (obviously and unfortunately) so yea it's a completely different thing. Like I said, single mothers live with their guilt every day of not being able to give their precious child an important part of growing up; a father. So to say that you know what I'm talking about when you really don't is garbage. Sorry not trying to offend anyone here, it's just a very sensitive spot for me, and I'm sure Melisa too...

Pinkstar132 · Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 118 Location: Canada

I agree with hannah's mommy , But i also know what you are feeling here wanting a baby so bad, I too wanted one so bad, but believe me if i could of turned back time i would of and i would of went to school and enjoyed my "teen" life alot more theni did. A baby is cute and yes it does change a life but not always for the best and it depends on who.

I don't think it's a good idea for you right now, My baby is now old enough to understand "mommy & daddy" But seeing his daddy every 2 wks is confusing to him and heartbreaking for me. You cant just up and go and POOF a baby then POOf You dont want it no more, htere is alot more to having a baby then you think .. its not just finances and love and cuddles .

You are prolly like me when i was 16 , someone who never got the right amount of love as a child, insecure and feel there is no better solution then to starting your own life .. ITS NOT RIGHT. ITS NOT A BETTER SOLUTION! ....

All i can say if you feel you can have a baby now , RUN FOR THE HILLS lil mama cause this aint like playin dolls...

tracey with 6 · Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2006 5:34 pm Post subject:

Hiya pinkstar ,hows that big boy of yours? are you trying for number 2?I jjust noticed your ticker Laughing

Bubbles · Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Posts: 17 Location: texas

oh my ladies, im sorry for causing any drama. i understand its a sensitive area for you ladies and im sorry for saying i understand where your coming from. i dont want any enemies here or anything i like all of you and am sorry if i offended anyone.

Hannah's Mommy · Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 598 Location: Trono

Don't sweat it