Baby Place

pavemylow · Guest

Ok, me and my wife have a few questions and figured we would turn to people for their experience and advice. We have a son who is getting ready to turn 2 in a few days. He is such a happy child and so much fun (most of the time). I enjoy spending time with him so much, as does my wife. He is so tough on her a lot of the time, that I feel so bad and cannot figure out what to do. He will basically be a crab for her so much lately we cant deal with it. I am not sure what to do. When it is just me and him, he NEVER acts out in anger. He never cries, unless it really hurts, and you can always tell when those falls or whatnot really hurt. He does not fuss, or throw fits at all for me, ever. He is such a good boy for me. Now, my wife on the other hand, always has her hands full. 85% of the time he is walking around pouting and whining, crying and throwing stuff and throwing fits. I dont understand why he is so good for me, and works her so much. Me and him sit and watch tv together, take naps together, read books, I mean, everything. She tries to do the same, but it does not work. He has to be on her lap the whole time, but gets agrovated when she needs to go to the bathroom or anything like that. We spend exactly the same amount of time with him. I have him in the mornings while wifey is at work, and I go to work when she gets home. He starts crying and fussing when she walks through the door. He acts a little better when its all 3 of us together. What should I/Her so to make it easier? He never questions anything I do or say, but will not listen to her. I have told her to be a lot more firm with him, because in my opinion she lets him run all over her, but she wants him to love her. She believes that he acts good for me b/c he is afraid of me, I think he just respects me. I have never hit him, but do raise my voice (not yelling), so I dont think he is afraid of me. He also throws tantrums over her not holding him or doing what he wants when he want, same with him wanting an object or candy in the morning. What should we do? Your help is greatly appreciated!!!! Thank you so much! Justin, Jamie, and Jonathon Smile

Nikki · Joined: 30 Mar 2004 Posts: 407 Location: Toronto

Hi,

We have a similar situation with my son(who is just about to turn 21 months), except that he seems to really act up around my husband and not with me. The minute my husband walks in the door from work, the whining and 'acting up' starts. I'm not sure why he does this.....my guess is that maybe because I watch him all day, he knows that he can't get away with that type of behaviour with me, and maybe he thinks to himself "daddy isn't the boss of me because he's not here wih me all day taking care of me, and mommy is".
Maybe your son is just testing the 'limits' with your wife to see how far he can push her and to see what he can get away with. She should try to be a little more firm with him and most of all be consistent with discipline.
Also, you and your wife should both be disciplining him....not just one parent. That way your son won't feel that one parent is the tough one. And if you tell your son not to touch something, your wife should be also telling your son when your not around to also not touch that same things .....that way there is consistency with discipline.

I wanted to mention that my husband takes over for me as soon as he gets home from work and has his supper just to give me a break and so he also has time to bond with our son. He gives our son his bath , reads him a couple of bed time stories and gets his diaper and pyjamas on. He still gives my husband a hard time though.

Good luck Very Happy