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 Post subject: Am I ready for a baby?
PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:12 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:56 am
Posts: 6
:P Hello, I've been reading some of the other bulletins and you all sound so nice.
I feel sick just asking this question but I feel like I need an outsiders opinion. I am 19 and my fianc? who is 27, who I have been with for just over a year and lived with nearly as long, wants us to have a baby. To be honest, I do too but I am scared.
My parents are uber-religious and I think they would react really badly to us having a baby. They would say I am too young and that we are not married so we shouldn't have a baby.
I have obviously been brought up by them and am inflenced by this and I am starting to have doubts now myself i.e. should i wait til we are married? The problem with this is that we don't want to get married for a good few years yet, and we want a baby much sooner than that.
My other questions are:
This is so silly, my breasts are quite big and I am scared that if I breast-feed they will end up smaller than they are now when I finish breast feeding?
Also, I read somewhere that sex after child-birth will never be the same, I don't know if I could accept that as we are very active that way and I enjoy it, is this true?
I know I sound young, but I have been through one hell of a lot. Thank you for your advice! Xxx


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:33 pm 
Okay my first thoughts are that if you are not ready for marriage then you are not ready for baby (not saying anything against the singles moms on this website, I love you all, just commenting on the statement made). You are only 19 you still have plenty of time. How long have you and your boyfriend been together? Why are you in such a rush to have a baby? My husband and I were married 7 years before we had Lily, and we were able to do alot of things before having the baby and I would not change that for the world. I am sure you have heard it over and over but, having a baby is really hard and such a life altering thing. I am 29 and still wonder if I should have waited even longer.
As for the breasts question: everyones body is different and does different things, You can sure bet that they will get bigger but I have not heard too many people say that thier breasts shrunk smaller than they were. Mine are bigger than pre-baby and I stopped breast feeding when Lily was 1 month.
As for Sex: Same thing, everyones body is different. I was not a huge sex person pre-baby so it did not make me ant it any more or less. Some people loose thier labido and some people have a bigger craving for it after baby.
Good luck with whatever desicion you make. Whatever you decide will be whats best for you :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:30 pm
Posts: 599
Location: Toronto
Wait.

I will be 19 in april...seriously wait.

Um yea your breasts will get bigger and they wont be perky anymore they will sag, probably alot for you if they are so big! Yea the sex thing could go either way. If you really want to have a baby then why can't you get married sooner? Having a baby is a WAY bigger commitment/responsibility then marriage! If you're scared now then wait till you get to where I am! You will be freakin!

Oh I have been through ALOT too for somone my age...Hell for anyone! none of that matters or prepares you for a baby. NOTHING can prepare you for having a baby! It is a challenge, mentally, physically, and emotionally, especially when you are this young. You've got LOTS of time. Sometimes I get sad b/c I'm missing out, hell I'm not even old enough to go out to bars and stuff yet! All of my friends are out partying, but not me, I've made a 180 turn from the way I used to be for Hannah, I'm proud, very happy, and wouldn't give my babygirl up for the world, but I can't help feeling sad sometimes. Live your life first, take it from someone who knows. Having children can wait untill you KNOW you're ready! You shouldn't have to ask if people think you are, you'll know it.

Good luck with everything!

P.S. LOL Krissi we love you too!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:51 pm 
i would say wait as well. I am 21, and just had my little girl 3 weeks ago.. it is a HUGE change, and more responsibiility than most people think. I never knew it was, but when she got here, and she relies on me for everything, all day everyday, it alot of work, you have to be mentally ready as well as financially, and be stable, and absolutely sure that is what you want to do. Good luck in your decision..

Melisa:):)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:52 pm 
oh and i forgot, i turned 21 while i was pregnant, so i never got to go out, and now i have this little life to care for, so basically my days of living and being young are pretty much over.. yeah i can get a babysitter, but its still not the same.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:27 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 11:56 am
Posts: 6
You're all right and I know it. Having to ask means I'm not ready. I just needed someone to tell me so. My fianc? is mad about kids, but he is prepared to wait because he loves me, he was prepared to go without because when I was younger I didn't want children at all.
I think he is just broody because his younger brother (james is 24) and his girlf. aimee (20) have a little 3 month old baby now, and with my fianc? being older than his brother he feels like he is leaving it late, but for me it might be too early.
The reason we aren't getting married yet is because my mom wants me to wait until after i am 21 as my 21st will be expensive for her and my dad. My lil sis and I have the same birthday 3 years apart, so when I turn 21 she will turn 18 and my mom and dad want to throw us a huge joint bash!!! We would love to get married sooner, but we have to wait, so that everything can be perfect. :lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:40 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:58 pm
Posts: 143
I'm going to go ahead and repeat what some one else said.

If you aren't ready to get married, what makes you ready to have a baby? 19 is still very young no matter what you went through. And why would you want to put yourself through any more?

It doesn't sound like you're ready to give up your life yet. And a year might sound like a long time, but it's nothing. You're still in the honeymoon period.


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