"i get soo mad that I am the one that is preventing us from getting pregnant, and wish i could make it right" << that makes me sadder and sadder each time i re-read it
don't blame yourself and/or get angry with yourself; this is NOT your fault. even if your body was behaving, there's no guarentee pregnancy would be quick to come. btw, from what i've been told... the more you stress over it, and the more guilt/frustration/anger you feel over having issues conceiving... the more difficult it becomes to conceive.
just a suggestion >> rather than beginning to buy baby things before you conceive to avoid breaking your budget once pregnant, it might be easier on you to start putting money aside (in a spot you won't/can't touch, or a bank account), instead. i know people who've started buying before becoming pregnant, and if it takes a while... all the baby items just cause more frustration and depression.
keep your head up and hang in there. i'll keep you in my thoughts.