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 Post subject: Hating daddy
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 5:45 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
Okay here's one. My husband travels a lot for business. Always did. In the begninning Mikey wouldn't talk to him on the phone when he was away or when he got home he wouldn't make a big deal about it. But as the days wore on a daddy was home more then two days mikey would be back to his old self. But not this week. My husband walked in from his trip to Mikey telling him "I don't like you daddy go back to work." I went to reprimand him but my husband doesn't feel we should reprimand him for his feelings. Then my husband went to pick up the baby and Mikey yelled "no, that's mommy's payton don't touch her." He did that the next day too when Mike just came in from work. And now he won't let mike give him a bath or put him to bed. We tried having mike do it anyway and it just becomes a screaming match for mikey. So I do it. I am sure my husband feels bad. I don't know what to do. Shoudl Mikey get in trouble for being fresh?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 6:36 pm 
Wow! Tough problem. I always worry about things like that since there is such a big chance that Brandon will get deployed and be gone for a whole year and Lily would grow up not knowing her daddy for a year. I have heard stories......You have to do something to let him know that is not right but I am not sure what. Let me sit on this for awhile and see if I can find something.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 7:57 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
I couldn't imagine how nerve racking that must be for you. To worry everyday that he may get that call. I tried talking to him about it but my husband said just to leave him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:09 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:49 pm
Posts: 407
Location: Toronto
Hey Jenna,

Alex is the same way a lot of the time. Jamie travels too with his job but only once in a while. Alex will sometimes act totally indifferent and ignore Jamie when he gets home. Sometimes he will refuse to give daddy a kiss and hug. It hurts me because I know Jamie trys so hard to be a great dad and he is a great dad.
And as I type this post, Alex has just had his bath given by Jamie, and he now totally refuses to let his dad put his pyjamas on.....he's just being difficult. So I will have to do it.
Alex will also ONLY let me lay in bed with him. And the other night he came into our bed and demanded that Jamie get out of the bed. So at 4am instead of having a screamfest, Jamie went and slept on the couch which I know is not the right way to handle the situation. But when you are so sleep deprived you sometimes take the easy route out.

I would say that maybe Mikey and your husband should spend one on one time together outside of the house...just the two of them. Maybe they could go out for breakfast to McDonalds or go see a hockey game, or something like that. Just so they can bond and your husband can totally devote his attention and time to Mikey. It's worth a try.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 9:08 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
See Mikey used to act like Alex and Mike and I were okay with that. We knew Mikey was upset his daddy was gone. But to be so hurtful now; I don't like that.
If Mike offers to put Mikey to bed Mikey will say "no! mommy"
They should spend more time together I agree with you there. But that point causes a little friction between Mike and I. He leaves every morning by 8 and doesn't get home until about 7. Mikey goes to bed at 8:30 the latest. When Mike gets home sometimes we are finishing dinner so he goes upstairs and gets out of his suit, or the kids are in the bath, he goes in and gets changed or none of the above. So he will bring Mikey upstiars with him while he irons his clothes (keep in mind they were dry cleaned so why they are being ironed I have no idea) and Mikey watches. I suggested that maybe one day a week he gets home at little earlier he says he can't. On the weekends we are coming and going. If we are home and they play together it's only for half hour spurts and usually the tv is on and Mike is listening to a game or something. I tried talking to him about this he feels he does spend a lot of time with Mikey and that he's a better father then his father was. Believe me that bar wasn't set too high but that's another story. Then sometimes Mike gets jealous over the relationshp Mikey has with my dad. But when my dad comes they do whatever Mikey wants for how ever long mikey wants. Mike and I had a arguement a few weeks ago cause my dad wanted to take him to a train show. Mikey loves trains. Mike got mad it was on a saturday and that's his day with mikey. So I told him to go too. Mikey would love just a day with his grampy and dad. Mike didn't want to go he said it would be boring. I flipped on him being so selfish. He eventually went and they all had fun but he wasn't going to do something his son liked cause he found it boring. That really pissed me off.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 9:31 pm 
i rally dont know what to say here except that im sorry you are going through that. i hope things eventually even out. that really is crap that he wasnt going to do sometihng his son loves because he found it boring... do they share any mutual interests at all that could bring them closer?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 9:38 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
Well, I am not really. It's my husband. I am always doing things with Mikey. I would just hate to see him not have a relationship with his son. And I am hoping he is not using what relationship he had with his father to measure it. I understand he works hard for Mikey, Payton and myself but he needs to understand there is more to life then work.
My husband loves sports. And they do play catch together. But trains is really Mikey's thing. It too early to tell now if he will be into sports.


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