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 Post subject: have a couple questions
PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 1:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:27 am
Posts: 37
Ok so first a recap on my crappy life. About five weeks ago i gave birth to a PERFECT baby that crappy part is he only lived for a week. I'm thinking about trying again and have talked to the doctor and the only thing they say is to wait a year and get off some weight before trying again. I'm a WEE but over weight. I can see waiting till i loose some weight but once i loose some i don't see why i can't try again as soon as im ready. So thats my question do i really need to wait a year to try for a baby?? Thanks in advance for any advice

Tara


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2004 8:23 am
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Hey Tara. First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never had a baby before and don't really know medically if you should wait or not. But I know I would wait for a while before I would have one again. You also should get checked out if it was something wrong with you that caused the death, if not, I don't see why you couldn't try for another whenever you are ready.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:27 am
Posts: 37
Hey, Thanks for your reply. I was just at the doctors today to find out what happened ( VERY LONG STORY SHORT i'm over in germany my husbands army and i was admitted into the german hospital and thats where my baby was born and where he passed away) and find out if i really needed a surgury to fix my uterus cause its a funky shape. THey said my uterus is fine and said because the germans had NO idea what they were doing and didn't wann take the time that that is really what caused all of this which is a nother long story!! THe doctors only concern was my weight and said i needed to get some off but other than that i'm fine. He said to wait a year but my question is if i get the weight off before then why cant i start trying sooner????


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2004 8:14 pm
Posts: 268
Location: California
I remember reading your story a while ago and it broke my heart. Your family is definetely in our prayers. I know when my sister miscarried they told her to wait for 3 normal periods and she got pregnant the next month and had a healthy baby. If you go to the doctor and they don't think that the same problem will happen again and that is was a one time thing then I would think you could try again when you feel ready. Maybe you could get a second opinion?!?!? I'm hoping for the best!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 10:21 pm
Posts: 302
I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way, but I would think there was another reason why you delivered so early. Something was telling your body to deliver. What did the German doctors do or not do? You may already know the reason, but if not I would try to find out before trying again. I had my 1st 6wks early and everything turned out ok, but it takes an emotional toll on you. When I became preg. with my 2nd I was so worried about preterm labor, even though what happened the 1st time couldn't happen ever again and we had waited 1 1/2yrs. Maybe since you didn't make it full term, they are suggesting to wait that year or they are saying that just because with any pregnancy that's how long they suggest you wait for your body to recoup. Good luck with trying again.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:02 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2004 8:14 pm
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Location: California
My sister delivered her first baby 4 weeks early and her second 9 weeks early after many attempts to stop the labor of the second (and three weeks in the hospital on Magnesium Sulfate) her little girl just came and they couldn't stop it. She was told her first pregnancy that she has an incompetant cervix and her body just doesn't hold babies well but she still wants more. Another friend has a weird shape uterus (I think heart shaped?) and she delivered at 27 weeks and after many weeks in the NICU her baby was fine but they suggested not having more kids. I think it is essential to know what caused the early delivery if you can. Somethings they can help with and some they can't. I just hope that it really is nothing and that you get pregnant when your ready and have a happy and healthy pregnancy!! Best of luck!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 4:15 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:27 am
Posts: 37
Ok well heres the FULL story and I hope everyone can follow along.
I went in for a normal doctors appt with my German doctor and when he was doing the ultrasound he decided to check the waves of the placenta. He said they were a LITTLE off and to go to a german hospital for observation for a night or two and then come back to him. Well I went to the hospital for a night then the next day the germans said it was bad and sent me an hour away to another hospital with an NICU cause they thought the baby would be coming soon. I was in that hospital for a week. They gave me medicine to help the lungs develope faster. (note i wasn't having ANY CONTRACTIONS AT ALL!!!) THey tried doing the doppler to keep track of his heart beat. They said his heart beat was dropping to much to often so thats when they came in about midnight and said were taking him. He was borm 1:35 monday morning. While i was always in the room for about four hours at a time hed do perfect. When i left things got rocky. THe whole week he was there all the germans cared about was trying to make me wanna pull the cords. THey treated me very rudly when i repedialy told them to NOT TOUCH THOSE CORDS!!!!! And then he pasted a week after he was born. I've blammed the stupied germans ever since. Then the germans told me because i have a heart shaped uterus ( like marianne's first friend has) that i should have a sergury to cut a part off otherwise theres a large change this will all happen again. Well i decided i no longer trusted the germans and saw a specialist yesterday(wednesday)
This is what happened with the american doctor. He couldn't give me ONE little reason why they took my baby and why he didn't make it!!! First he started me off by telling me not to have this surgery unless i get pregnant again and the same thing happens cause if i have the surgery theres a possibilty bad things will come of it. He said due to my weight ( i lied i'm like pretty over weight) trying to keep track of the babys heart beat with a doppler is almost impossible. They move around so much and with him being small and me being so fat that it wasn't his heart dropping it was that they couldn't keep track of it. The doctor for the life of him can't figure out why they took him by c-section when i wasn't even close to going into labor!!!!!!!!! He told me about one of the nurses he works with or something that has the SAME uterus as me and has had TWO healthy babies. One came at 32 week and the other at 37 weeks. He said for sure i'll deliver early and sucky for sure i'll deliver by c-section but that he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND why these germans did what they did!!!
So i've found out what happened, and im out for revenge on these germans now so many that will take my mind off of having another baby right now, and loosing some of my chub before i get preggo again. I hope i didnt confuse anyone to much and thank you everyone for your responds and advice!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 10:56 am 
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Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2004 8:14 pm
Posts: 268
Location: California
That is absolutely horrible!! I would be so upset and mad as well!! It is hard though because at the time you thought that they were the doctors and the ones who knew what they were talking about so you trusted them all to find out they are the ones responsible. I am so sorry. Is there another American doctor you could go to for another opinion just to confirm that they think your body will hold the baby for long enough? If they say the same thing, I would lose the needed weight and try again which is what you were planning on right? Best of luck and I am so sorry for all that you went through!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2004 12:14 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 05, 2004 1:45 pm
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Im so sorry for your loss... how many weeks gestation were you?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:24 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:27 am
Posts: 37
Thank you Nique and i was 27 weeks and 1 day


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 1:47 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 10:21 pm
Posts: 302
So sorry for your loss. I would get a copy of your medical records and see a high risk doctor. I think there is more to your loss. Your baby was very small for his gestation and earlier you mentioned failure to thrive. I would see a high risk dr. anyway due to your uterus. I hope you and your husband are doing well.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2004 12:47 pm 
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Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:28 am
Posts: 10
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain and anger you are feeling. But I would get a copy of your medical records and then go to about four or five obgyns for a second opinion. Get them to right down and sign what they think. Then go to a lawyer and so the pants off that hospital.
As far as your weight. I would try to loose some ( I am trying to do the same). Just walk everyday and eat sensible. But you know that.
I would ask an american doctor what they think about waiting a year. If he gives you the go ahead then do it, but make him your primary care giver for the pregnancy if possible.
Best of luck and my prayers are with you.


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