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 Post subject: In need of advice
PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2004 8:53 pm 
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Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 8:46 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Maine
I'm 16 and I'm going to have a baby. I'm about 4 or 5 weeks along now. I'm a bit under weight and gaining weight quick. The morning sickness is pretty bad. My parents don't know. I already had to abort one baby and don't want to do it again. What should I do?


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 Post subject: In need of advise
PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2004 9:43 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 6:26 pm
Posts: 59
Location: WV
I think you need to go to a doctor as soon as possible. How do you know for sure you are pregnant. You should also go ahead and tell your parents. Because they will find out sooner than later if you keep it. You have quite a few options you can keep it or you can put it up for adoption for someone who can't have kids. What ever you do I hope you are able to deal with it. I really hope all goes well.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2004 10:01 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:59 pm
Posts: 147
Location: Georgia
First of all you need to tell your parents.... yeah it will probably blow their mind and be really upset... but they can also help you to make up your mind, give you advice and take you to a good doctor. I am so so sorry about morning sickness... I had it all day every day for the first 14-15 weeks. A few things that helped me were... saltine crackers (keep them by your bed and eat a few before you get out of bed), don't jump out of bed or rush in the morning, do NOT eat greasy foods before going to bed or in the morning---this makes it worse, when you feel nauseated so ahead and put a cold rag on your head and lie down for just a little bit and it will help it calm down some. So, if you go to school or work..etc...early in the morning you may want to begin to wake up a little earlier. I have a question and that is... what does the baby's daddy think about it? Also, when you are deciding what you want/need to do... remember and think about everything the baby will need/ want and make a choice that you and the baby can live happily with! Either way don't let someone make the decision for you.... it will be on your concious for the rest of your life. Much love! God bless!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2004 10:05 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:49 pm
Posts: 407
Location: Toronto
What you need to start doing is having protected sex.
You are only 16 and have already had one abortion, and are now pregnant again. It is your decision and only you know what is right for you and the baby growing inside of you. What about the father of the baby?? Does he plan on supporting you emotionally and helping you financially with raising the baby?
Hopefully when you do tell your parents they will be supportive.

Good luck with your decision.


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PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2004 11:20 am 
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Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 8:46 pm
Posts: 3
Location: Maine
I know I'm pregnant because I took two different test and they both came out with me being pregnant. The father knows and is willing to help me every step of the way. He says he understands if i don't want it and he will be willing to be supportive either way. Thanks for the idea with the morning sickness. I'm working on telling my parents.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2004 3:37 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:59 pm
Posts: 147
Location: Georgia
You're very welcome!! Good luck!! I don't know if you believe in prayer... because now a-days not many people do...but if you do.... trying praying about it and it may help things between you and your family!


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 Post subject: sounds easy....
PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2004 12:14 am 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:56 pm
Posts: 23
Location: New York
Whoa! People need to understand that it's NOT that easy... "Just tell your parents....... start having protected sex...... you know you could give it up for adoption." Maybe if you're an actress in a movie but in reality it happens and it's HARD. I am 22 years old and 12 weeks preggers. I haven't told my parents yet. I am terrified especially of my dad's reaction. It also is very scary to go to a doctor, or even to make an appointment. I know I have to do it this coming week for sure, and you need to as well, but my God hearing advise simply like -go to the doctor- isn't helpful at all. A lot of people on this board do have a lot of very good advise and are extremely empathetic, we're all going through this together! Just in different ways. I got pregnant when I was 18 which only lasted 2 months, so it feels like my first time and it is overwhelming, just remember that there are people that want to help you, and what ever YOU chose to do, is a life-changing choice of your OWN. Please stay in touch


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2004 10:17 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:59 pm
Posts: 147
Location: Georgia
First of all, I do KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!! When my parents found out that I was pregnant they totally went CRAZY on me! They felt like my whole life was ruined, my dreams wouldn't come true and also felt like I had disappointed them... so YES I do know how hard it is to tell your parents. I had always been an honor student, cheerleader and a "good girl"...etc... all that stuff your parents want you to be. My dad didn't even know I was having sex until he found out I was pregnant. My mom had me on the pill, but I had forgot to take it one day and boom I was pregnant. Anyways, I know it is hard and yeah they'll probably over-react! But, after you tell them and if they give you some long lecture go to your room...etc...and give them time to chill and cool down and talk to each other about it. It will help a lot for you not to be there and let them talk about it and cool down. Then, they will begin to come around and support you in your decision. I was talking to my mother... because I told her about this web site... and I was telling her about your situation and she told me to tell you... that it is your decision... but remember since you were already pregnant before and now your pregnant again God may have a reason for you to be pregnant again... mayber something will happen at a later on time and you need your baby to be there by you to support you and keep you strong. You never know the reason for things... but there just may be a reason for you being pregnant again. But, this is a decision that no one can make for you-- it is in your hands-- but make one that you can live with and that you can handle. Good Luck!

FYI- I have a friend who had a baby this year... her dad was a lawyer and her mom was a gymnastics teacher... they were so disappointed in her that they practically disowned her for like the first 3 or maybe even 4 months of her pregnancy. But, once they cooled down~ realized they couldn't take it back or do anything about it~ they accepted her and her boyfriend (who is now her husband) and their new baby grand-daughter! It just takes parents time to adjust to the thought of their baby girl having a baby.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2004 9:33 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:49 pm
Posts: 407
Location: Toronto
Regarding 'The Argus Tree's ' comment, yes things do happen, and this is reality and it's not always so easy to do the 'right thing' or what people view as the right thing. BUT, with that said, I have to say I do not agree with you when you say "It's not that easy.......to start having protected sex". Why would you think that it would be so difficult to have protected sex especially when an individual has already had an abortion??
Yes, accidents do happen, and I myself have been in the same situation where I became pregnant at a bad time in my life when me and my boyfriend at the time we not emotionally or financially ready for a baby and we decided together to abort the pregnancy. After that situation, we were extremely careful, even though at the time I became pregnant we were using condoms (it broke), and I did take the morning after pill (it didn't work).
Contraceptives are readily available and even free at teen clinics (where I live they are) or you can get a prescription from your family doctor or a clinic for the pill.
Personally, and this is my opinion, is that if you are mature enough to have sex with someone and share an intimate moment with them, then you should be mature and responsible enough to discuss contraception and safe sex....not only to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, BUT also to protect yourself from all of the sexually transmitted diseases out there.
HPV(human papilloma virus/genital warts) are spread very easily and even when wearing condoms you can still transmit the virus to another person.
Sorry, this was so long but I just don't buy the "it's not so easy to just have protected sex".
If you are raped, or forced to have sex that's one thing, but when you willingly have sex there is no reason why you can't ask your partner to put a condom on. As a woman/girl you should be carrying them yourself so there are no excuses.
That's my opinion and that's all I have to say on that topic.

:D


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 Post subject: Hold the PHONE
PostPosted: Wed Jun 02, 2004 6:32 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:56 pm
Posts: 23
Location: New York
Dear Nikki,
About the misconception, and to clearify for you. I figured someone would take that the wrong way, sorry about that. Without writing an essay about sex I did not mean to imply that it is HARD to stop having unprotected sex, just that that simple advice wasn't extremely helpful at the time being....SINCE what is done is done. Please don't think I'm being malevolent. Most people (I know not all) but most including myself know how to have protected sex by the age of 16 and what the consequences are. It's just hard for people to realize the actuality of their actions. Especially when you're experiencing things for the first time.
i.e. First boyfriend and encounters of having sex etc... I too have made a poor decision, got pregnant when I was 18... and am now pregnant, not exactly on purpose, although this time I am extremely happy though.

If you do not know about, or how you can get STDs, HIV, or how you get pregnant, you should probably visit a different website,ask your parents about it, or listen to your health teacher! I also hope everyone here already knows what a condom is and where to get them. I thought it was general information.


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 Post subject: To teenage expectant mom
PostPosted: Thu Jun 03, 2004 2:00 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 1:29 pm
Posts: 5
You are going to have to discuss the pregnancy with your parents. They'll find out sooner or later anyway. One thing you can do to prepare yourself for this conversation is to decide if you are ready to parent at this stage in life. I am 25 and 37 weeks pregnant. I'm married and it was a planned pregnancy, but I even have doubts about my abilities sometimes. If you decide that you aren't ready to parent please consider adoption. My parents adopted two children and it has been the best thing to ever happen to our family. You can contact me for more information. I know a great couple that is looking to adopt. Either way it is your decision and it is one you need to make with all the facts and with your parents and the baby's father's input. You are young and have a lifetime ahead of you. Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out.


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