Unlike you guys I am older and married and expecting a baby.
This is different so it was interesting to see your point of view on the current situations you are in.
I don't walk in your shoes so I can not say I really can relate to the problem but from my prespective it is sad that people are starting bringing beings to this world before they commit.
Sure this can be done but usually it is girls who suffer from it and most of all kids.
I think that from men's perspective it does not really matter but for women it is harder.
Men rearly look into the othre perspective, it is hard for them, they usually see only into themselves.
From my experience what helps most is to have your guy to expose to other guys who are where you want your guy to be.
When he sees other examples and other mental models then he usually is more pron to making his own commitments and changes.
I know it is hard for a guy to commit if he does not want. period.
but... talking to him from perspecitive of his own perspective can help.
try to make him imagine how he would feel if he was a child and would have to grow up not having official father assigned at the house? mom not married to dad?
they say usually they will commit later.. so what is the deal? why wait if the want to do it ever why not now?
I guess once man fathers the baby he looses his right to choose so much as he used to have and there is a time to compromise a bit.
after all he already started a family wanting or not.
how he would feel if he was a woman and somebody would feel like lvinign him right there whith a baby and some vage promise of some future commitement.
statistics are not working for you guys.
I will pray for you all and keep my fingers crossed
I hope your guys will do the right thing because after all
we all sometime end up victims of our circumstances
but it is not worse what can happen.
the measure of being a real men is not the ability to make a baby,
it is what comes next and doing the right thing.
marriage is just that. it is not an option. he is a father he must be a husband, otherwise is like he is making his life easy for him and
miserable for everybody else.
It is good to know who one goes to bed before being put in such a situation but not eveybody likes to wait and see because making
babies is fun after all
so hang in there, and try to meet with other couples who were where
you were and now are w here you would like to be and this
might help a lot