Baby Place

rond · Joined: 30 Jan 2008 Posts: 1

I never thought it would happen to me. I studied Biology in University, learned all about "mistakes" that can happen at conception and what the mistake could lead to. Never in a million years did I think it would be a reality for me, especially at 29 years old (as the chances do increase after 35 years or 40 years, I think).

But there I was, at my 3 month ultrasound, excited to find out my exact due date - when the doctor suddenly said - how old are you? how many children do you have and left the room. I realized then that something was wrong.
When he came back, he told me that the baby had what is called a cystic hygroma which is a fluid tumor on her neck. She was also very swollen. I was told that the chances of her surviving the next few weeks were very slim and basically to wait until she died and then they would induce my labor.
There was however, a chance that she would survive, but they didn't think so.

They baby went onto live much longer than they thought. I think the hardest part for me was the pregnancy even more than my loss. Waking up every morning - do I feel the baby? Is she still alive? Will she make it and be the one to surprise medical science? Then there were the weekly ultrasounds that I went for where they would ask me "what is wrong with your baby"? What are you going to do? Why don't you abort? The doctors were also in favor of me aborting but I kept thinking what if she does survive how can I give up on my child? The more she grew inside of me, the more I felt a bond with her.

I did lose her after carrying for 5 full months (at the beginning of my sixth). So if you are reading this, and are in a similar situation, you should know that I understand how you feel. It is hard.

One positive thing that did come out of this, is that I learn to appreciate everything much more. Before (with my other children) pregnancy was, find out your pregnant, be sick, give birth and that is it. Now I view every pregnancy,birth as a miracle, something to be thankful for.

May we all only hear good news from now on.

Ronda