Baby Place

Grandma · Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 7 Location: Wi

Hi there!
This is only my 2nd post, just joined up this morning. A bit about our situation...
I'm the grandma of a 9 month old little girl. Love her to pieces!!! LOL She's the light of my life. I get along great w/her mom and my son (the daddy). Jules (the mom) was about 5 months along, she came to live w/us. The new family stayed w/us until this past March when they got an apartment. We've had our ups and downs but for the most part, we've got an excellent relationship. I babysit while they work, take the baby over nite to give them nites out and time to still be teenagers. Jules is a good mom, Tom is doing ok but needs to figure out how to balance everything in his new life. He works full time, 2nd shift, wants to socialize (he's always been very social from birth) and I see alot of resentment from him lately. He won't talk to anyone about what he's feeling. I think he needs to be honest about his feelings. I think he loves Jules and the baby, but he's just too young for everything that he's got to deal with.

I know they're trying hard to do their best but I also see the mistakes they're making within their relationship. Alot of it is typical stuff, she feels "stuck w/the baby", he feels she's trying to control him. He wants to play w/the boys while she wants him to stay home w/her and the baby. They have their arguments, nothing physical, but I do worry about them. I know they have so much responsibility on their young shoulders. My heart goes out to them both. They are the only teen parents in their group so they don't have a peer group that they can turn to for support. If I open my mouth, he gets upset w/me. I try not to offer any advice unless he asks me. I don't know what to do anymore.

If you're a teen parent, how do you balance it all? What could your parents to that would be the best to help you out? Got any advice for this old grandma? Wink

LOL Thanks in advance!

Haley · Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 2

Your son needs to grow up. He is old enough to do grown up things like have sex, then he is old enough to follow through with grown up results. I was 15 when I got pregnant, and am 16 now with a two month old. I don't want the dad around because he wanted to go "hang with the boys" too much, like you stated your son wanted to hang with the boys. Being a mom is a full time job. It is not fair for guys to go out and leave the mom with the baby full time. It is time he becomes a man, regardless of his age. Exclamation

Grandma · Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 7 Location: Wi

Yup, I agree. Things have been alot better, not only between the parents but w/the rest of the family. They're back in w/us since they both want to go back to school in January so it's a full house once again. It's not forever and I do enjoy having all 3 of them around.

Congrats on your new little one. I'm sure you have some rough times but good days are right around the corner!

Hannah's Mommy · Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 601 Location: Toronto

You are a very sweet sounding lady! I just wanted to say Kudos to you for being SUCH an understanding mother/grandmother! As far as how you can help, it sounds to me like you are doing just about all you can do. Your son is lucky to have a mother like you. Dont get frustrated if he/they get upset when you try to offer advice. Sometimes my mom tries to give me "advice" although she is a little more *pushy* about it lol, I do get upset at times as well. Like I said it sounds like you are doing a GREAT job as you are Very Happy