Posted: Sat Oct 16, 2004 9:37 am Post subject: 17 with two kids
i am 17 and i have two kids and all of my friends abandoned me i guess they really werent my friends i have been trying to find other teen moms in my area but have no luck i am very alone except for my husband but he is at work all of the time
I am 18 and have a 9 month old daughter. If you ever want to talk about anything you can e-mail me or just post something. Maybe our friends are hanging out together....I can't seem to find my friends either...lol.
Hope to hear from you!!!
Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 1 Location: Temecula, CA
Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2004 3:06 pm Post subject:
Hi. My name's Molly. I'm 17 and I have a 19 month old daughter named Lianna Reese. She's the love of my life. Her daddy, Josh, is not in our life. He left me as soon as I told him I was pregnant and he hasn't been involved since. Lianna and I live w/ my aunt, uncle, and 2 lil cousins. I used to live w/ my dad and 2 lil brothers, but my dad kicked me out when I told him I was pregnant and my mom lives in Colorado. Oh, I live in California. I know how you feel. I don't have many friends either. It didn't really help that I had to move away from all my other friends when I got pregnant. Most of my friends here are teenage and single moms like me.
Joined: 08 Nov 2004 Posts: 13 Location: upstate ny
Posted: Wed Nov 17, 2004 4:30 pm Post subject:
1. If you don't know about http://www.meetup.com, you might want to check it out. Basically, the site helps people connect with others who have similar situations, interests, and the like... and at least once a month, everyone gets together and hangs out offline. They've got groups for stay-at-home moms, teen moms, and a host of other things. Even if you can't make it to the gatherings, there's a chance you'll make a few new + fairly local friends online and can hang out in the real world somewhere down the line. If you can't make it out due to child-care issues or lack of transportation, children *are* welcome at a number of these meetings, and chances are, you'll find someone willing to give you a ride. NOTE > be smart and be safe when accepting rides. I'm not sure where in Maryland you live, but there are groups in Baltimore and Nova, and if those aren't all that close, chances are, you can start one of your own.
2. Talk to your pediatrician and or your OB\GYN. Let them know you're feeling a little lonely and looking for ways to make new friends. Depending on where you live, they may be able to suggest groups/services/whatever where you can meet people your own age and pick up a new friends.
3. B/C of your age, I've got to ask if you're still in school, have dropped out, or are/have getting/gotten your GED? If you're not attending school and haven't gotten a GED, you may want to look into taking night classes or something -- will get you out of the house and around people your own age a few nights a week. and who knows.
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate and talk about your friends. Are you sure that you've been abandoned? Any chance that _you_ may have done the abandoning? As a young wife and a mother, it's all too easy to get wrapped up in family (nothing wrong with that!) and forget about your friends, or let those friendships suffer. Have you picked up the phone and called anyone recently, let people know you miss them, are thinking of them, and feeling a bit left out? Have you tried making plans? Is there any time you can hang out with your friends without having to involve the kids?
Hey I'm 18 any my little Hannah is due soon! I havent had any friends since I got preg either and I'm lonely too. I live at home still but my mom, dad, and older bro are always working and my younger bros are always at school. My man lives across the city and is always working too! So I have been sitting in my house alone for most of the day for 8 months now! Except for my little princess in my belly!
I just wanted to add my 2 cents on this. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my oldest child, already living on my own (with his father) and I totally understand how you girls feel. My friends were so excited when I became pregnant but about 4 months into it they all bailed. My only advice is to choose your new friends wisely and always put those precious little babies first.
Good luck and best wishes to you all .
p.s. I am now 29, in a healthier relationship, and happy. We are proud parents of 3 sons (one step-son) and have a new baby on the way.
I just turned 19 today and I have a 4 month old beautiful little girl. I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant and 18 when I had my baby. I was in high school- my senior year- when I found out (I graduated May '04). I got married in April and Tameka was born in August. I know what it is like to be pregnant and be a teenager... I didn't have many friends while I was pregnant nor do I now. I mainly rely on my cousins and and my husband's brothers to cut up with ...etc. I just wanted to let you know if you needed anyone to talk to...etc... you can also PM me. Also, in most areas there are group meetings for teenage moms... either weekly or monthly to where you could meet other moms in your area.... I AM SURE you're not the only teenage mother in Maryland! Maybe you could speak to your obstetrician about that or your local health department. Good luck!
I'm 17 and due to have my first baby, a little girl, on the 17th.
I seem to have mysteriously lost all of my friends too, so I know it's hard. Anyone that wants to talk, feel free to pm me.
Posted: Thu Feb 03, 2005 9:22 pm Post subject: i dont know what to do
hi iam sure you guys remember me i am 17 with two kids well my husband is gone all the time all day and when i want to go do something its a big deal and he will not watch the kids or do anything to help me he wont even give me any money and he wont watch the kids so i can work and it relly makes me mad because i didnt get pregnant by my self i have been thinking about leaving him but i am scared because i dont want to be alone and i think that i will never be able to find any one else but i cant deal with him being gone all the time and coming home late and to top it off he is always high
first off honey, dont be scared to be alone. If you think that leaving him would better your life, and your childrens life, then by all means, go for it. there is someone out there for everyone, maybe at this point in time, you should focus on starting a life with you and your children, get things going, and then look for your true mister right. im not saying just up and leave him, but if your relationship would be better that way, then you have to do what will make it better. Him being high around the children is a bad thing, and cant be very healthy for the relationship. I am 21, i jsut had my first child, me and hr father were engaged, and when i told him i was pregnant, he left us.. broke everything off.. so now i am single with a 3 week old child, with no incaome at the moment, and im living with my moma nd dad, and basically they are supporting me. Iff you ever need to talk, feel free to PM and good luck with everything!!
I'm going to apologize ahead of time because what I say and how I'm going say it may possibly offend you. Please keep in mind that that is NOT my goal and I am NOT attacking you, and I really am sorry if I make you feel that way. It's just that sometimes, I feel I HAVE to be blunt to get a point across... and this is a point I feel I _have_ to get across.
You say you're scared to leave because you don't want to be alone. Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you're already alone -- you say he's gone all the time, he won't give you money, he won't help with the kids at all for ANY reason (including so that you can get a job), and he gets upset when *you* want to do things? Marriage is a partnership; you may have a husband, but you don't seem to have a partner. If you don't have a partner, you don't have anything.
From what you've said about him and his actions, your husband sounds like a control freak. Given past experience, this makes me fear for YOU and your children. People who exhibit that degree of control over others (you can't have money, you can't get a job, you can't do this, you can't do that) often go on to become abusive at some point, towards their spouse and/or kids :(
You seem horribly unhappy with the situation + your hesitation to leave seems to center on a fear of being alone rather than a desire to remain with your husband. If you're staying with him just because you think having him around is better than having no man around at all, you're wrong, and you really are better off without him in the picture. As for never being able to find anyone else, when the time is right, someone will find you. But rather than worry about finding a new man, perhaps you should take some time to focus on yourself and your two kids, and doing something like taking a few college courses so that you can land a decent job and better care for them.
About him always being high >> that's hellaciously uncool, and his habit puts you at risk of temporarily losing your children to Child Protective Services (or whatever your state's equivalent is) if somebody reports it or he has a run in with the cops, etc.
Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 63 Location: Cottage Grove,Oregon
Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:05 pm Post subject:
I went through the same thing you are going through I was 17 when I had my first son then 20 with my second I was also married and all my friends abandoned me they thought because I had kids and was married I couldn't hang out anymore well it turned out some of them had babies and I choose to not assosiate with them no more. I'm now 4 months prenant with my third child been divorced for 7 years and this babies father is not invovled. I'm 28 years old now and don't have much friends still but I have my family and children and thats good enough for me I suppose. I know I'm older but if you need someone to talk to I'm here. good luck to you Mandy
Posted: Sat Feb 26, 2005 9:37 pm Post subject: hey!
I'm 17 and a newlywed (2 months as of yesterday) and I'm expecting our first child in 10 days. My hubby and I have been together for about 9 months so things may not work out but we are very happy right now. Wow! 2 kids already? How old were you when you had them? I can barely believe I'm about to have my first! Good luck with your children and husband and I hope you find someone in the area to connect with. You should live near me...there are about 40 girls my age (16-20) that have children right in my town. And i live in a small town in NY. Hope you find someone.
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and I'm lonely too. I live at home still but my mom, dad, and older bro are always working and my younger bros are always at school. My man lives across the city and is always working too! So I have been sitting in my house alone for most of the day for 8 months now! Except for my little princess in my belly!