Baby Place

*brightbaby* · Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 5

i never can talk to my mom about this kinda stuff and i just moved to a new school so i dont rilly have any friends so i just wanted some advice from some experienced teen moms about me having a baby at 16. i wanna give that baby a better life then i had and all i have dreamed a bout is to be a mom and i love kids. i just cant wait till im done school please help me

<3 Aly<3

Suzanne · Joined: 22 Mar 2005 Posts: 234

Do you really want a baby so someone will love you unconditionally? That is the strangest thing I have ever heard. Quite selfish, and it really shows your age.

If you asked 1000 teen moms who had a baby at 16, I think it is safe to say that EVERY ONE OF THEM wishes they had waited to become mothers. That doesn't mean they don't love their children, but by purposely having a child when you are a child yourself is completely ridiculous.

You will be setting yourself, and your baby up for a life of struggle, loneliness and seclusion. You'll miss out on all your big "coming of age" milestones, and you can never get those times back.

It is a terriably bad decision for you to purposely get pregnant at 16. If you are really looking for oppinions, I'm sure most every woman on this site agrees with me completely. Having a baby is hard work, it is SO much harder then I ever could have imagined, and I am 27, married to a man who can financially support his family. Think long and hard about this choice, this is not just you that you have to think about.

Maryam · Joined: 19 Sep 2004 Posts: 143

You can't give a baby a better life at the age of 16. First off the phrase "I want" is not something a mother can really say. Your wants and needs don't matter when it comes to a child.

Are you in a steady relationship? Do you think a child deserves a father? How about a stable life? Can you live off of two hours of broken up sleep a day? Are you comfortable with the thought of breastfeeding? If not, why and do you have the money and patience to bottle feed? You realize that a pack of diapers is $10 and you go through it in less than a week? How will you support your child? Who will watch him while you try to earn a living? What if your child doesn't love you?

If your attempting to answer all these questions then you're not ready. You're just making excuses.

I'm 25, married to a sailor with a 7 month old. My husband goes out to sea a lot. I am a single parent by default. It hard even being my age and having the ability to stay at home. I get to take a shower by myself maybe once a month. I haven't gone out in I don't know how long and when I did it was for a short time and all I could do was think about my son.

If you think you're ready then chances are you're not. You only become wise when you realize that there is much you don't know.

*brightbaby* · Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 5

thank you both....alot of thoes things you said i never rilly thought of.... thank you for the advice ( me and my mom dont talk to each other ) so i guess alot of that stuff i have to put in concideration. thank you
<3 Aly

HeatherHerzek · Joined: 25 Feb 2005 Posts: 153

Yes and please pay attention in English class. Rolling Eyes

Hannah's Mommy · Joined: 07 Dec 2004 Posts: 601 Location: Toronto

OMG....................... Rolling Eyes

..........................uhhh I'm 19 and my life SUCKS! I love my daughter more than anything, but MY LIFE SUCKS! If I could go back in time I would have waited untill I had a house, a car, a steady income, and a strong and stable relationship. All of which I do not have, which makes trying to raise a child VERY VERY difficult. Having a kid at 16, or hell even 19 (unless they are like Heather and have everything already! Wink

), is the DUMBEST thing that anyone could do!

Please learn to love yourself and give yourself everything you deserve before you decide to support another human being. If you want to have a child the best thing you can do is to start building a foundation NOW! Finish school, go to college or whatever, get a CAREER not just a job, get a husband who loves you unconditionally, THEN think about bringing a baby into this world.

I know how "glamorous" it sounds to be a teen mother but trust me when I say it is ANYTHING but!

I think all of you girls wanting to have a baby at 13, 14, 15, and 16 know darn well that it is the wrong thing to do! Think things through better!

*brightbaby* · Joined: 03 Nov 2005 Posts: 5

sorry bout that,,i dont speak very good english

Chelle J · Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 120 Location: New Zealand

I think 16 is too young to have a baby. You say you want to give your baby a better life and that you and your mum dont talk much. How would you provide for your baby. Can you financially provide? Can you emotionally provide for a baby? Having a baby can be very tiring and hard at times and if you have no support how will you cope. The best advice I can give you is to wait until you are older. in a stable relationship and able to provide for a child. Stay at school get an education.

kellykay003 · Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Posts: 13 Location: Someplace in KS

Hey there, i know what its like to move to a new school at 16 and feeling like you have no friends. But, having a baby at 16...thats just plain CRAZY!!! I am 20, and the thought of having a baby right now scares me a little. Im a full time student in college and I am working a full time job. You need to make sure your financially stable before you even consider bringing a baby into this world. My advice to you is wait until your older, try joining some clubs at your new school...its a great way to meet people and make new friends. i think you need to stop thinking about making a baby so much right now and get out there and find ya some girlfriends you can hang out with and have fun with.

tracey with 6 · Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 10:27 pm Post subject:

Hey hon I know your going through a rough spot but if you think your lonley now try in the middle of the night with a screaming baby who wont stop . That is when lonley really kicks in. So hang on in there at school, and leave babies until your older,you have the rest of your life to do that Very Happy