Baby Place

katwoman3 · Joined: 26 Jul 2004 Posts: 17

Hi! This my first post. I have only one child and am so ready for the next. I have baby fever so badly that I dream about babies at night.
I have a four year old little girl. And I don't want her to be an only child. I am an only child and I swore I would have two children in my life.
My husband was all for it to start out. Now he is like, no way, we need to focus on our careers and enjoy the child we already have. Our daughter is a joy to both of us and we love her dearly, but like most tots she is whinny and into everything. And often a handful. But at the same time, she is funny and just adorable.
I want another baby so badly. My husband is 35 yrs old and I am 26. How do I deal with the fact he does not want any more kids and I so desperatly do ! Plus I do not want my daughter being an only child? I know it's one of those things that no one can answer really it is just the way it is and I am grateful for the child I do have. Is there anyone eles out there ever been through this? I could REALLY use some helpful words.

Jaymmie · Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 172 Location: NC

I think it is best to try to see your husband point of view. Do like I tell my husband and put your self in his shoes. You don't want to do anything to hurt your marriage. He may come around sooner then you think. Just don't pressure him. Let him do it in his own time. I wish you the best of luck!

yourcomforter · Joined: 27 Jul 2004 Posts: 19 Location: London, England

It sounds as though there might be more to this than whats meet the eye.

You may need to assess how your husband felt, when you were pregnant with your daughter. Men carry a lot of weight in their minds, that we know nothing about. They are very practical and logical about things.

Naturally, the home situation has changed, and now he is working to keep a family. This may be a new task for him. Remember, men are the maintainers and producers. They do not mind fulfilling their duties, however, when other issues arise, they tend to deal with it, by not speaking about it. Please do not get me wrong. I am sure he loves you both very much, and was estatic at the birth. But a man's reality is not like ours. We can plan several things that we will do tomorrow whilst in bed the night before. Some men, can only plan one thing at a time.

What I am saying is that it is time to be less emotional and more rational about your situation. And you may find that things happen just when they should.

LopkeD · Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2004 2:37 am Post subject:

Hi There

I'm not quite in the same boat as you cause I already have two children, but I would LOVE to have another and my dh says two is enough... So I do know how you feel.

To want to have another baby and can't because your partner isn't ready is hard to say the least. Do you speak to your dh often about another child. I just making passing comments every now and again, just so he knows how I feel. I don't want to pressure him into anything, but I am sure that with a bit convincing he would allow me to have another. (I just need to loose a bit of weight first - otherwise it's never going to come off Laughing

)

Any way, just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel and wish you the best of luck. I am sure your husband will change his mind... once you have put it at ease... Smile

katwoman3 · Joined: 26 Jul 2004 Posts: 17

Hi, thank you for the reply, I do appreciate it.
I would desperately love to have another child, but I do understand my hubby's point of view. He is right, we have both worked our butts off to get where we are at and a couple more years won't kill me. I just hope he will want another in a couple more years. I don't really pressure him about it. I mean he knows all to well how I feel, but he also knows I respect his feelings too and would not want him to feel pushed or aggravated. One thing I have learned, and yes the hard way, pushing a man , at least my man, to get what you want gets you one place, NOWHERE and I discovered that a few years ago with him. I am just going to pray about it and trust when the time is right it will happen and if it's meant to be it will be. Thanks again.