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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:53 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:23 pm
Posts: 2
Location: Massachusetts
Hello everyone,
I am new to here and for the past 3 months I have spent some time reading all your questions, comments and concerns.
I must admit that by reading all your messages, I have had many of my questions and concerns answered, and I thank you all for that.
I have also noticed that many of you are so friendly and are not afraid to be open and honest with people. Nothing is better then honesty.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm 27 years old and I married the love of my life almost 3 1/2 years ago. Not too long ago, my husband and I built our first home. It has been an experience that I won't soon forget and believe it or not I loved every minute of it.

As I mentioned in the beginning I have been popping in and reading your messages and I have started to think more and more about having a child of my own. My husband and I have discussed it (some days more then others). We have have taken the time to go through our finances to make sure that we are financially ready.
I am blessed enough to say that "yes" we are financially ready to have a child, but my question is how do you know you are ready emotionally? There are days that I sit in my living room over look my house and try to imagine how it would be to have baby in the house laughing and crying with lots of toys everywhere. Then there are other days that we make last minute plans with some of our couple friends and think to ourselves that we would not be able to do this if we did have a child.

How did you all know when you were ready? People tell me that "I will just know", but I'm not sure what signs my husband and I are suppose to be looking for.

I appreciate all the advice and comments I can get.

Thank you very much for reading my VERY LONG message.

BM


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:14 pm 
hi there, my name is melisa, im 21, i have a 1 month ild daughter, my first. it is good to hear that you are thinking things through throroughly.. now you had asked what signs to look for to know if your emotionally ready. and yes, tons of people say "i just knew" and when it happens, you will know, i know thats not much help, but look at it this way, there are people out there who have thought they were emotionally ready, and end up having an emotional breakdown after the baby gets there, and then there are those who thought they would never be ready, and they are the best parents a child could want. I thought i would never be ready, emotionally, financaially, and i use to be a really selfish person, i wated everything for me. well i have totally changed since mykenzi was born. im patient, i havnt llost my temper once. and my greatest achievement was when my dad got his taxes back, he gave me 100 bucks (like he always does) and i spent every bit of it on my baby girl, and none on me. so my advice to you is: if you have the home, the family, and the finances, and you think your ready, take a leap of faith, you said you wanted a child but re worried about being emotionally ready, even if your not, you will be soon there after, just make sure you have help from loved ones and itll be fine :):) good luck

Melisa


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 2:53 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:49 pm
Posts: 407
Location: Toronto
My opinion is that there is never a 'perfect' or 'right' time to have a baby.
There will always be something in the near future that you want to do, buy, etc. and you think to yourself "well, if we have a baby we may not be able to do this or buy that" if you know what I mean.

If you and your husband really feel ready to share your lives with another person that you have created out of love.....than you are ready.
When you have a baby, your life will be forever changed but in a good way. But remember, initially you will have to sacrifice some the freedom you now take for granted to take care of your little one.

Sometimes my husband and I think to ourselves 'what was our life like before our son?'and honestly we can't even remember what life was like. Life is so great with our son and those are the memories we will have forever.

Good luck with your decision :)


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:23 pm 
Hello, my name is Krissi. I am 29 and just had my first baby. I too was like you and waited until we were financially ready to have a little one. It sounds to me like you two are ready. I really don't think anyone is ever truly "emotionally ready" to have a baby. There will always be things that arise weather you were ready or not. The important thing is to discuss it with your husband and if you bot want it than go for it! It is a life changing experience but it is so worth it in the end :)


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 6:48 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2004 10:35 am
Posts: 39
Location: Minnesota
I totally agree with everyone else about it all being worth it and there never being a right time!!!

I however have one other piece of advice, I had my first child at 16 and never had a chance to be financially stable when I was young and am 29, having our fourth child and still don't feel able to do all of the things I would like to financially. Getting to the point, I say before you get pregnant think about something that will be harder to do once you have kids and go for it , for example, take a trip to somewhere you've always wanted to see or take time to accomplish something you have always wanted to. You've got plenty of time to make a family. Sometimes just accomplishing the things you want to before you have kids is the key to having a totally fulfilling life together and then maybe you'll feel it's the right time ... maybe you'll know!

For me having children has been a great experiance, my kids are my pride and joy!!!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 10:29 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 1:23 pm
Posts: 2
Location: Massachusetts
Hello everyone!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REPLIES! :D
You have been great for taking the time out of your busy schedules to reply to people like me with questions.
Reading all your replies has made me think even more. I guess, in some ways I do have a couple of little things to think about.
Maybe weekend I'm going to sit down with my husband and find out how he feels.
I don't want to pressure him to do anything he is not ready to do, but I do feel I need to discuss a couple of things with him.

I'll let you know the out come.

Thank you again! :?


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 Post subject: i was surprised
PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2005 11:45 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2005 3:01 am
Posts: 1
hi,
just wanted to tell you i feel exactly the same as you do i wasn't expecting a baby but it just happend i was so surprised i had only been married for 6 months and my husband and i decided to wait till we are stable i was thinking 2 years ...but it happend!! we were devistated at the begining i didnt know what to do i kept thinking im not ready to be a mother (im 22 ) but at the end we both were convinced that this is gods will and god does everything for a reason...i really think my life is gona be liomited now i used to be very active and athletic now that there will be a baby in my life i dont think it will be the same plus i have been working a very good job for 8 months i dont want to quite but i guess i have no other choice....but as everyone tells me its all worth it at the end when you hold your little baby in your arms....


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 3:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:49 pm
Posts: 407
Location: Toronto
eme- I'm not trying to be nosey or anything.....but why would you have to quit your job just because you are going to have a baby? I'm not sure where you live, but here in Toronto, Canada we get a year off for pregnancy/parental leave to spend with our babies. And we get 60 % of our earnings paid by the government. After that, you can either go back to your job or stay home. If you have a good job, then maybe after pregnancy leave, you can make arrangements for daycare or a family member, or friend to help you out with babysitting.

Also, you mention you are quite active now and that your active lifestyle will change once the baby comes. You can still be active. You can join an exercise class for moms and babies, you can go for walks everyday with your baby. And if you are involved in sports and would still like to play get your hubby to take over for a few hours so you can get out to the gym, play sports, or whatever you like to do.

Good luck :wink:


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