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 Post subject: Sex after baby
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 9:50 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
Here's one for you girls. Steve you may want to close your eyes I know you get sensitive when we start talking about girl stuff. LOL!! My best girlfriend called me this morning. Her and her husband had an arguement last night and she needed to blow off steam. Her son is a little bit of a handful and keeps her on her toes all day long. Now he does this new thing of literally hanging on her. She can't wear sweats anymore cause he hangs on her and they are falling down. So she just wasn't in the mood didn't want to be touched. She just wanted sometime to herself. Of course he got a little frustrated. So then she proceeds to say how sex for them doesn't happen cause of the pain. I asked her what she is talking about. She said since she had the baby it hurts to have intercourse. Last time the pain was so bad she had to stop. Mind you her son is going to be two next month. I asked her if she ever mentioned it to the doctor. She said no cause she thought this was normal. Where she got that idea I have no idea. I told her I have two kids and nothing feels different. She did mention that she tore during delivery and the doctor was taking a while to sew her and then started to get frustrated cause the nurse kept coming in telling him he had to hurry cause he had another delivery in the roon next door. So now she is wondering if he did something wrong in haste. She called him after we got off the phone but his office was closed until Monday. Has anyone ever heard of this before????


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:05 pm 
Well it has certainly not been 2 years for me, only 4 months, but I had 4th degree tears and it still hurts down there. My husband told me that he thinks the doc did a bad job sewing it up so I got the nerve the check the scar out and it feels terrible. I did some reading up on it and found that the scar tissue can cause you to have pain for quite some time so that is probably what is happening to your friend.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:15 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
Even four months may be a long time. I guess we will have to see when other people post but after I had my son my husband and I had intercourse right after my six week check up and I was a little leary at first but it was fine. There was no pain at all. I tore too. I am not sure what degree she didn't say but I know it felt like she was sewing for a lifetime. And what's worse is I asked my girlfriend why she hasn't asked during a regular check up. I mean she went for her six week check up and she has gone for a yearly check up. She said she figured if it was anything he would have noticed while he was doing her check up. I told her I would go see another doctor but she just wants to wait to see what he says. I will let her know about the scar tissue though. Thanks


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:22 pm 
When I went to my six week check up the doc said it was still tender but healing up fine, so I thought nothing of it. Then my husband and I decided to try and I have been afraid ever since. Makes me not want to have another because of that horrible tear. The doc was sewing me up for forever too, so I bet you anything your friend had a 4th degrre. The epidurial was even wearing off by the time she finished. Terrible stuff. I don't wish 4th degree tears on even my worst enemy.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:24 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 26, 2004 10:21 pm
Posts: 302
I've read that depending on the tear or how they were cut there have been those still complaining up to a year, but it wasn't very common. I've also read if you're not sewn up right & they were in a hurry it can cause a lot of pain and you should see a dr. so they can fix it..which could be your friends situation. Like Krissimace said scar tissue can build up around it causing pain too. She could be dry and need extra lubrication if she hasn't tried that already. There could be many reasons. Since she's had pain well over a year she should definately get checked out.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 10:41 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2004 11:10 am
Posts: 290
MY EYES!!!

:shock:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 12:52 am 
wow, i think it is safe for me to say that yall are scaring me, i got cut, and the doc something bout 2nd degree, but what weird with me, is i feel no pain where i was cut, but i feel pain in that um, "special spot" (i dont like using that word, it kinda creeps me out), so ill say, i feel pain in my :oops: clitoral area :oops: , there, that works, .. is that any kind of normal? its like it is almost too sensitive to touch, specially when wiping... :shock: :shock: :shock:

and in responce to Steve.. this is why women have children :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: just close your eyes, itll all be over soon! ;););)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2005 7:22 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
For me the sewing was worse then the delivery itself. I'll have to ask her if she knows what degree tear she had. If it's scar tissue does anyone know what they do for that? I didn't ask her anything about using lubrication cause I can tell she wanted to get it off her shoulders but that she was embarrassed so I didn't want to make it worse for her.
STEVE YOU WERE WARNED!!!! LOL!!
Hopefully she will see her doctor next week so I will keep you posted


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 8:14 pm 
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Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2004 10:06 am
Posts: 13
Location: upstate ny
Pain *is* normal; the vast majority of women I feel it to some extent, and if I were her, I wouldn't be overly concerned UNLESS it's a -constant- pain, and not just one she's experiencing while attempting to have sex. The bruising and swelling from delivery take longer to fade in some women than others, as do cuts and tears. Then there's scar tissue, and a lack of/decrease in natural lube... which both really, really suck. If her doctor checks her out and says everything's okay, and you feel you can talk to her about these things w/o anyone getting embarassed or stress out, suggest the following > not attempting sex unless she's fully relaxed (do not focus on pain, do not think of pain. if she expects it to hurt, it WILL hurt); engaging in lots of foreplay, which will help her relax; soaking in a hot bath immediately before (will not only help her relax, but will help the tissue relax + make it more likely to stretch); lots of lube (lots, as in twice as much as she thinks she needs. water-based > ky gel is good, liquid ky is good, ky jelly is just GROSS), and positions that allow her to control the speed and depth of penetration (on top is good. spooning and from behind may prove uncomfortable as there's a higher chance of sensitive/healing tissue being hit. Some people also suggest regularly massaging the perenial area to help it regain elasticity and become somewhat desensitized.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 9:45 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
She called me earlier her doctor saw her today. He said there were no cyst or scar tissue. He said sometimes after a tear it is possible that he sewed too much and made her tighter. He also thought maybe her hormone levels were off. So he put her on an estrogen patch. I was totally surprised he did that without taking blood work to check her levels. He also said an increase in estrogen may also boost her sex drive. He said if that doesn't work and she's still in pain they will do a sonogram to double check things on the inside. So she started the patch today so we will see what happens


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 9:50 pm 
Keep me informed because I would really like to know if that works for her. If it does it may be worth me visiting the doc if it continues for me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 9:59 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
I will. He also mentioned to her to maybe keep in mind one of those woman pills like viagra. But she already said no. I told her just take one step at a time. You are only 3 months though don't rush it. Give it sometime.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2005 9:44 am 
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Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2005 1:22 pm
Posts: 4
My daughter is now 10-months old and I continue to have mild pain with intercourse. However, I had a c-section, so the pain is due to dryness. My doctor told me to use "replense". You can buy it over the counter and it works better than ky or anything else that I have found. If I remember right, you use it daily for the first few days and then on a weekly basis (check with your doctor). She may want to check this out to see if it also helps.


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