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 Post subject: sick of this crap.
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 4:58 pm 
Ok, today has got to be THE worst day of my life. I get a phone call at 9 am, from the prosecuting attorneys office saying that "so-n-so" Is requesting a paternity test for MyKenzi Lynnette ******, so IM like, WHAT!?!? So, i have an appointment to go downtown to speak with my new freaking case worker next week. So, i get off the phone, and i call "so-n-so" and confront him about the situation, He says to me, "I'm not paying a darn thing because im not so sure that MyKenzi is mine!" So i instantly break down into tears and tell my mom what is going on. Well a little while later, i get a phone call from "so-n-so" and he says, "if that child is mine, ill pay child support, but i want hard evidence that the money is going to her, and if at any time during the process, if i feel that mykenzi would be better off with me, dont think for one minute that i wont aplly for full custody, and rid you of your full maternal rights!" So now im really pissed, not 4 freaking weeks ago, he wanted nothing to do with me or her, now he doesnt think she is his, and he is threatening me in all kinds of ways! know that he would have to prove me to be an unfit mother to get full custody, and all this will take a while, but :(:( the thought of things not going smoothly, and her getting taken away from me is just horrifying! Ive pretty much been in tears all day.

And to add to the situation, i have to have an ultrsound tomorrow morning to see if the cyst that appeared during my prengnacy is gone, then my 6 week checkup on thursday, if the cyst is still there and poses a problem, then ill have to have surgery, and be off of work for longer. If it is gone i can get right back to work, but im paranoid to leave mykenzi with a sitter for so long, even if it IS my mom or sis, i ahvent been away from her for more then 3 hours at a time since she was born.

and now im dealing with dumb*** doctors who are telling me to give my 6 week old child cereal, and then hearing that it is way too early! I know now y my dad hates doctors, i caled today to bump her appointment up to next week so that i can talk to him sooner and ask my list of questions i have going!

and mykenzi's belly button thing is still there, they did the silver nitrate last monday at the office, andsaid it would dry up, turn blackand fall off, well for the most part, the whole thing is black, but it is still connected down at the very bottom of her belly button! im paranoid that during her bath or diaper changes, im gonna pull on it and hurt her somehow, but her doc said to give it till next weeks appointment and he will look at it then!!! AARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!! i literally feel like my head is gonna spin off of my shoulders! i quit smoking when i found out i was prengnat, and the way thins are going right now, im having to deal with major self control issues, because i just wanna light one up so freaking bad!!! Wehn the doc gives me his explanation, and i tell him that i have more than a handful of angry mommies that wanna know why, ill post and let you all know, lol :)


*sigh* sorry this was so long, but thank you for those who take the time to read it, it felt good to get that out!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 5:20 pm 
Don't you worry about your post being long, you go ahead and vent...you sound like you need a good venting session, that is what we are here for.
Don't worry about so-n-so, someone (probably his mother) put something into his head to all of a sudden come up with this crap! Call his bluff, go along wioth it, prove it is his and he probably won't threaten you again. Document his threats just incase.
As for the belly button, have you been getting it wet in the baths? If you have that is probably the reason it has not fallen off. You are not supposed to get it wet until it has fallen off. Put alcohol on it a couple times a day, that will help to dry it up.
Lastly.....DON"T EVEN THINK ABOUT LIGHTING UP GIRLIE!!! I know how hard it can be when you are frustrated. I smoke for a long time and after I quite it was so hard to find and outlet for my anger, but for your daughters sake don't start again! You just get on this computer and vent and vent and vent! We are all here for you!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 5:52 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:58 pm
Posts: 143
Don't worry about this guy threatening to get full custody. No judge is going to take a newborn away from its mother, especially if you're breastfeeding. Plus he would have to prove that he's a fit parent. Considering how much he's protesting right now I don't think that that's going to be an easy task for him to do.

Just remember, guys suck. Just try your best for your daughter. It might be tough, but in the end everything will be fine.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:01 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:30 pm
Posts: 599
Location: Toronto
Melisa-

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through all of this S#!*! If this guy is as much of a deadbeat as you say he is then you have nothing to worry about! He wont get custody! I can see how much you love Mykenzi and what a great mommy you are! I'm sorry you have to go through all of that court bullcrap! That is terrible! What a guy! My God! I hope he gets the hell out of you and Mykenzi's lives asap!

I too am sick of S#!**% doctors AND nurses! My experience at the hospital was TERRIBLE! They didn't even tell me that Hannah had jaundice! Or that I needed to suppliment her if I used a nipple sheild. Or tell me her weight when we left the hospital! GRRR! I hope that Mykenzi's belly button thing clears up soon! Poor girl!

Hun try to keep your head up and I know things will get better for you soon! Keep us updated! xoxo! :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:23 am
Posts: 4
Location: Australia
No worries hun... I have been there I raised my 13 yr old boy Myself! His father and grandmother (his fathers mom) tried to do the same thing.. but his threats got him into more trouble with the courts than he could have ever gotten into with me...
A couple things... 1. He has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are unfit.. you QUIT smoking darlin... ;) 2. You are breastfeeding.. and unless he plans on breastfeeding.. then he has a snowballs chance in Western Australia to get custody!
DON'T listen to your dr.s about putting her on cereal at 6 wks!!!!!!
There are enough of us that will Help you try to figure out things.. I am on the long road to quitting.. ;) You can be MY support person for quitting.. I have at least 20 websites for moms with infants and newborns..


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:25 pm 
hey ladies, ive managed to talk my parents into smoking in one confined room, my dads comp lab.. and they totally agreed, and i talked to so-n-so father today, he said that if they were ever asked if he was fit to be a parent to her and have full custody, they would say no. kinda sh9ocked me. he has been calling my house nonstop, i ve been writing down when and how man times he calls, and when i get the phone bill, ill keep that too, and it is never the same number, its always different!

i went and had my ultrasound this morning... the cyst is still there, and just as big as before. about the size of a grapefriut, my mom told me that its probably too big to do a laproscopic surgery (she had the same thinhg, but small on both ovaries) so she said if i have to have surgery, they may have to make a small cut, which im not too thrilled about! i find out tomorrow what is going on with it.

i dont remember if i repled to krissi about the belly button comment: When they did the silver nitrate.. the doc told me it was ok to give her normal baths and the wetness wouldnt hurt it any... if he f***s up my kid, imma sue his retareded butt!!!!

when i find out whats going on tommorrow at the docs office, ill let you ladies know, hopefully things will be ok, i dont want this darn cyst to be cancerous or anything:(:(:( and if i have to have surgeryk, im going to be off work for freaking longer! and on weight restrictions, which means i wont be able to do all mykenzis stuff during the day, like bathing and playing on the floor, and that kind of stuff! :(:( ugh im soo sad, i was soo hopeful that it was going to go away after she was born!


Melsia


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:29 pm 
Everything will work out in the end :) I will send some positive vibes your way :):)
Things should be fine with the blly button, just ask the doctor and try to keep it dry until then except for a little alcohol a couple times a day. Hoepfully the doctor can tell you tomorrow why it is like it is.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 7:12 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:23 am
Posts: 4
Location: Australia
Well.. Erin and I are behind you all the way.... we hope things work out well at the Dr.'s..


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2005 9:58 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
Oh my goodness I haven't been on. Sorry Melisa I am just reading this now. Okay let's see step by step what we have to do to make you feel better.
First let them do the test. That's fine. A pain in the ass yes but you have nothing to hide? Oh can I say a#$? Hmm better not in the future. He's just pissed off he has to shell out money. Let him be pissed of; that's fine. He'll still pay at some point. And that stupid threat although it's frightening it's just him basically trying to scare you into going away. He thinks you will get scared and not go for money. Don't let him get the best of you. Your daughter deserves that money. And they need a reason to take her away from you. There's not one so there is no trouble. Good idea though that you moved apartments. Cause I know when my Uncle got custody of his kids (his wife was crazy) the courts wanted to kids to have there own rooms. So now your baby has her own room so not even an issue. Also you have a large support system. Your child is not going to be in day care all day when you go back to work. Not that I have a problem with people who use day care so please don't e-mai me nasty messages. I am just saying I am sure the courts will like the fact that she stays in her own envirnoment with either your mom or sister.
Okay now the cysts. I am soooo sorry. I know that must be scary but let's try to make it a positive. If you have it you stay home with the baby longer. If you don't great too no surgery. Now as far as leaving the baby with a sitter believe me I know that's scary. I still cry when I leave the kids. And I only leave them with my parents. On March 5th I am taking upstate for a birthday party so we will be gone all day. That's the longest I Will be away from Payton and when I think about it I get anxiety. But you have a great thing going there with living with your parents. If anyone knows how to care for the baby or how the baby acts at certain times of the day it's your mom. She's around so much she probably knows at what times the baby poops and how much. There is no one I would rather leave my children with then my parents. I mean she must be a good person she raised you didn't she? And you turned out alright. Whenever I get freaky about leaving my kids my mom does this stupid joke that for some reason makes me chuckle every time. She says "go have a good time; I haven't lost a kid yet." Lame but it's true.
Also if you are not comfortable with your doctor. Find a new one. Talk to friends or neighbors see who they use. Or challenge your doctor. Ask him what his reasoning is. She's your baby don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Sometimes a mother's feeling is more then a doctors degree. I took Mikey to the doctor on Friday. His doctor wasn't there so we saw another one in the group. I asked him a simple question. On all the news reports here they are talking about shots and autism. I know it's been a debate for awhile well now they are staying there are new studies that are showing it's true. So I just asked him what shots and what's in it. Cause next week Payton is getting shots. Well, he tried brushing me off . He says"oh these news reports are driving me crazy. I have been flielding these questions all day and I am getting so tired of it." I stopped him right there I said "I am sorry if my questions bother you but my daughter is suppsed to get shots next week and before I sign for them I want to know what it is that is causing children to get this disease. And if my one question is a problem for you think of how an autistic child may be a problem for me." I told him I will be seeing my doctor next week and she's not getting one shot until I know more about these shots. You have to be stern. Don't be afraid to stick up for your child. She's counting on you to do it.
Okay now I am putting my soap box away for the night. LOL!! Just kidding. I hope I helped a little. We all want to. And we are here for you to vent to.
Just reading everyone else post. Really stupid question; what is a nipple shield? I never heard of that.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 1:06 am 
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Joined: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:23 am
Posts: 4
Location: Australia
What is a nipple shield? That is a special shield placed over the nipples to do one of three things.. either get the baby to suckle properly or because one or both of your nipple are inverted and they help to feed the baby properly or three... a combination of both..


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 8:08 am 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
Ooooohhh I never had the inverted nipple so I guess that's why I never heard of it. Thank you


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 12:01 pm 
thank you all for your support.. its nice to know i have a group of people i can talk to about this and you alla re soo understanding. I went to my postpartum check up today... everything seems to be in fair working order.. lol.. they said that the mesurements of my cyst are 12 cm by 10cm by 9 cm i think it was. i know the 10 and 12 are correct.. so its pretty frickin big! i go back to doc tomorrow to decide what will be done.

Mykenzis doc said that her belly button thing should have came off by now, and he looked at it, and when he cauterized it, yet again, he didnt do it down far enough, so it was pretty much "dead" except still attached with fresh skin at the very bottom of it. I confrontewd him about the cereal and said that everyone i talked to has advised me not to do it, and asked him why a person in his profession would advice me to do something that could potentially be very harmful to my child.. and his reply was .. "well, it was merly a suggestion, you are going to do what you want, so i made a suggestion." I told him that if he advices me to do something again that is not right, i will find another doctor, and he straightened right up.

so that is that for now. i shall go nap now:)

Melisa


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2005 3:29 pm 
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Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 7:41 pm
Posts: 904
Location: Long Island
That was his answer???? Are you serious? Oh no that wouldn't have worked for me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:36 am 
i have an appointment on monday with another pediatrician.. we shall see how she responds to all this and we may be making a switch next week! :):):)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 9:45 am 
I think you made the right decision switching doctors!


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