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 Post subject: someone...anyone...
PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 9:26 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 28, 2005 9:17 pm
Posts: 1
Location: Somersworth, NH
I'm 17 years old... and pregnant. For the 2nd time. The first came when I was only 15, but ended up in a misscariage. I feel like god is giving me a second chance. After complications with an STD that was successfully cured, the doctors had said I might not be able to conceive, but, i guess i proved them wrong :0[ Everyone in my life, except for my cousin Ashley, who is now about to have her daughter ( Bianca :o] ) any week, is telling me I need to get an abortion. I was apposed to it two years ago, and my views have not changed. Luckily for everyone, there was no baby. I feel conflicted, as if I can't face anyone. I would rather run away and raise my child alone, than have to listen to ANYONE's reactions to this. It was a surprise to me, as well as it will be to them. I feel like everyone will be dissapointed, and maybe even feel bad for my situation... i don't want pitty, i was love, and understanding, or how about not having to be afraid to shout to the world IM HAVING A BABY!, much less tell my boyfriend, my mother, step father... How do I even begin to tell them? The first time was easy, i handled that. But now? Again? What do I say to them? I'm sorry I don't think that I'm ruining my life, but I know that I'm ruining yours? I'm so scared, angry, confused, I feel weak, and i cannot stand it. I don't know what I'm looking for in submitting this... maybe just someone to talk to... sincerely, Lynn


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 11:41 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:30 pm
Posts: 599
Location: Toronto
Hello Lynn,

I feel for you and would like to write you a nice message but right now I am *BLAH* and I don't feel like it. Sorry I know I probably sound like a B!t$#. However I conceived a few weeks after my 18th b-day and I am due on monday so I know kinda what you are going through. I also thought it might be better to leave without telling anyone, but that is a dumb idea I know it's easier but once everyone gets used to the idea they are suportive and actually help you out! You need your b/f and your family more than ever now. Sorry but mabey I'll write more later, or if you want write back with anything you want to talk about.

Ask anyone on here, I'm usually really nice and supportive, but right now like I said I am in a dumb mood, I am tired of being pregnant, I am ticked off at my idot b/f and just really evil right now!

I don't want this to discourage you though, feel free to come to me with any questions/problems/complaints :wink:

P.S. yes people will be disapointed, especially your mom, there is nothing you can do about that. They will still love you just the same though. Again feel free to talk to me about anything!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 12:35 am 
Lynn,

I am sorry to hear about what is going on with you. and i wish i had sme helpful advice for you, but all i can offer is my support in this time for you. I became pregnant when i was 20, and well, i dont want to make myself sound bad, but i had my share of fun during my teen years, and never once got pregnant, and i had no suspicions of becomging pregnant. One day while at work, i called my doc to make an appointment because i had been feeling crampy for weeks, but had not gotten my period. afterwards, i called my mom and let her know because i wanted her to go with me, and she told me that was one of the sign of prengnacy, cramping but no period.. so that night, i took a HPT, it was positive, and the next day i went and had a blood and urine test done, both positive. i see it as a blessing on my part becasue i went so long without getting pregnant, and i had my baby.. just 2 weeks ago actually. i could not be happier. but when my mom found out, she was kind of dissappointed, but once we had an ultrasound set up, (i found out i was pregnant at 8 1/2 weeks) and i started my prenatal appointments, it became more of a reality to my mom. then once we found out i was having a girl, she became more accpeting of it, an eventually, went with the flow. My dad just didnt think much of it, he was neutral about it, and now he is a proud n happy grampa. however, when my fiancee found out, he left me, i lost my home, my car, and now for the moment (till next week) im living in my parents living room with my 2 week old daughter! things can go in any direction. If your parents really love you, which they should, then they should be accepting of this, if not at first, then eventually, same with your boyfriend. i see your situation as a blessing as well. if they thought youd never conceive, and you did, run with it girl, let people know, be proud, its your life hunny, live it as you see fit, :):) good luck..

and yes hannahs mommy is a swetheart and always offers a kind word, i hope she feels better soon !! :):)

Melisa


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 1:21 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:30 pm
Posts: 599
Location: Toronto
:D :oops: :lol:

Thanks Melisa! I think when I pop this lil girl out I will feel better!

Lynn-

Hi! Again sorry about my disposition earlier! Congrats on overcoming the complication with the STD! Good for you! In the beggining of my pregnancy my b/f kinda wanted me to get an abortion :evil: But that was out of the question. Just after New Year's I went to my Gramma's and my aunt pulled me aside and gave me a BIG long lecture on being a single mom and tried to convince me to give Hannah up for adoption! I just sat there and politely listened to her but made it clear that I'm keeping my baby! :evil: I know it sucks to have people breathing down your neck about "other options" . There is really not much you can do about it except make it clear to them what your decision is. I've really had to toughen up through this whole ordeal! It's hard! Like Melisa said you've gotta keep your head up and not care what they think/say. Prove tham all wrong! You CAN handle it! And you CAN still have a life! It's really hard untill everyone gets used to the idea that YES you ARE having a BABY!

When my mom found out she was shocked, mad then upset in the matter of like 5 mins. She still had a hard time dealing with it but belive it or not she bought me somthing for the baby like a few days later! I think sometimes that she is more excited than I am! LOL! My dad I think had the worst time with it. We didn't talk for a few weeks it was hard. I felt bad for him! He seemed so lost and helpless and depressed! I am his only daughter, and have always been daddy's little girl. He's ok with it now though, well everyone is at this point HAHA! Now Jay (my idot b/f), we had sex alot :oops: and were together ALL the time and were pretty close, so he always knew when I was expecting my "friend" as he always called it. (we were together for a year and a half before I got pregnant) So he knew that I was late, and when it didn't come we both knew at the same time and we went together to the doc's office and found out at the same time. So it was really easy that way! We were both feeling the same thing at the same time. Mabey if you are worried about telling ppl this will help? I hope it does anyway...

My mom said to me that: "God dosn't hand us anything that we can't handle"
And my neighbour said to me: "God dosn't make mistakes"
So like Melisa said again, if they didn't think you could get pregnant then this truly is a blessing!

Well that's all I can think of to write to you now :wink: I hope it helped a bit! Again feel free to talk to me about whatever!

Good luck hun!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 1:52 am 
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Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 1:16 am
Posts: 45
Hey Lyn,

Who are they to tell you what to do anyway? First of all it is you who is making all decissions and will be stick with them right?

Besides you will never make happy everybody so just as well start thinking about yourself and your baby.

10 years from now it won't matter what who things except for what you choose. I am telling you your kid will be beautiful and smart and those people will so get used to him or her that wont' see it any other way.

It is just that some people would love to drive your life.
If you feel so strongly about something it is never good to give up for wrong reasons.

When you talk to those people be kind and smile wide when they talk, let them talk. and than agree with them and after you do state:

"yeah that is all true but I decided to have this baby and this is my final decission and I would love for you to support me in it but if you dont' than too bad."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 7:41 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 8:27 am
Posts: 37
Well the other gurls already gave you advice on how to handle the family. All I can say is they are right. THis is your, your baby, and most of all YOUR DECISON! people are always going to try and run your live no matter what age, so now is the best time if ever to start sticking up for your self and sticking with your decisions, and if people don't like it they can either except it or move on. (most usally except it so don't worry :lol: ) With doctors saying the chances of you concieving were low and you did i also beleive this really is a blessing from God. He doesn't give you more than you handle so y ou CAN do this. Ya morning sickness and other not so great things about being preggo might make you think oh boy what was I thinking but in the end I think everything I went through was SOO worth the precious little baby I get in the end. Enjoy your pregnancy and I really hope you parents can understand, be there for you no matter WHAT, and most of all be as excited about this baby as you are.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2005 1:26 am 
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Joined: Tue Feb 01, 2005 1:08 am
Posts: 2
Hey, im one of the people from the other side. My younger sister fell pregnant when she was 17 years old. She was just at the peak of her sporting career ( got asked to try out for the under 18's silver ferns and was going to netball camps with silver fern players). When she told us she was pregnant we were not very happy at all!!!, we were against abortions but thats what we wanted her to do, she was "special" thats what we thought!!. We hasseled her and fought for ages. After the initial shock and we accepted that she was going to keep the baby we all got involved in taking her to her midwife appointments and going to scans and eventually baby was taking forever to come. When baby did come she was to most beautiful thing in the world and loved her so much. We now couldnt imagine a life without her. It may seem like everything sucks now but it does get better and once baby is born they will regret giving you such a hard time. WE DO!!!!!


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