Just read your post and thought I'd say Hi and check how you are doing.
First off, I'm really proud that you've been able to kick the drug habit. That is one amazing step towards giving yourself and your baby a much better future! Good for YOU!
I know it must be hard to be your age, a mom, and not have friends that understand what you're going through. I give you alot of credit for keeping your baby, kicking the drugs, and reaching out to others who may be in the same situation to hopefully strike up a friendship.
When we become moms (and dads), it's such a change to our whole life and when our friends aren't in the same place, it's hard to stay connected. Our priorities have changed. We're no longer only concerned about hanging out, partying, etc. Now we have a little one that relies on us for Everything!
It's incredibly important that you have a good support system to help you with the baby. Some young parents are lucky to have that. Others don't and it's hard on not only them as "people" but also as parents and it's also hard on the baby. I'm sure you know by now that when you're upset about something, your baby probably picks up on that so he/she gets more fussy.
Hang in there. Things will get better. You're still young, changing, growing, and maturing so cut yourself some slack. You made a big leap towards "doing the right thing" when you posted on the forum looking for a friend!! That's terrific!
Can you tell us a bit more about your home life? Do you live alone? with your parents? w/your b.f.? Are you still going to school? What do you like to do for fun? Got any hobbies or interests? Pets?
Did you have a boy or a girl? Name?
At 4.5 months old, I bet your little one is really starting to smile, giggle a bit, and begin to really interact with you. I always loved that age, when you can make eye contact and different "faces", you can see the difference in their eyes and facial features as they watch you. I remember when my kids were that age (a million years ago!) and I'd start w/their head, name all the body parts as I moved down their little bodies. I think it gave them a sense of themselves, where they "started" and "ended". Physical touch is so important to the little ones as I'm sure you know.
Has your baby started to roll over yet? Does he/she tell you "stories"? Granted they can't talk yet but I always liked to have conversations with the little ones. I'd ask them a question, then pause for a few minutes, giving them the chance to babble in reply. It's so much fun when they discover their voice and talking to them helps them develope great skills for later language developement.
I'm in WI, small town so there's not much to do here but we take our granddaughter for a lot of walks in the stroller. She's very social and loves running errands with me. I'm hoping to get her enrolled in a play group this winter. She'll be 2 on Oct 1st so I think she's old enough. Have you looked for "mommy and me" groups in your area? A good place to look for those is at different churches or libraries. You might also check with the local Health & Human Services in your county. Check the newspaper too in the classified section. With school starting up again, this is the time of year they usually start new sessions. Also, check Craigslist....wouldn't surprise me if there wasn't a post in there about play groups. Even though your baby is still pretty young, there might be some groups that get together w/the babies just as a way for the moms to get out, connect with others who also have babies.
You may find a few people your age, but don't count out moms who are older than you as well!! If nothing else, post here!
You never know who's out there lurking, still too shy to post that's in the same situation you are.
Hope to talk with you later! Have a good one and give that baby a hug from me.
LOL Take care!