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yes u should
no u shouldn't 100%  100%  [ 30 ]
maybe follow ur hearts 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 30
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 2:02 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2004 1:07 pm
Posts: 2
:? HELP ME !!!!!!! I'm 15 and my boy friend and i want a baby. But my mom and everyone thinks we should not have a baby but we want to. He is 19,Everyone says i am to young for this and i can't make up my mind. Please i need help should we do what we want or should we wait. He will wait if i ask but i want a baby and so does he , please help me it would really mean alot to us .


Last edited by jasmine on Fri Apr 16, 2004 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2004 9:32 pm 
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Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 1:49 pm
Posts: 407
Location: Toronto
This is a joke, right?? Of course 15 is too young for you and your boyfriend to have a baby. If you do in fact have a baby , how will you and your boyfriend have the financial means to raise this baby and give this baby the life and opportunities it deserves.
Also, don't you think you owe it to yourself to get an education so that one day you can have a rewarding career and then start a family.
Having a baby, as I'm sure everyone has told you, is an enormous amount of work which means you will be missing out on all the things that every other 15 yr old is enjoying because you are at home taking care of your baby. Don't expect your mom to do it because she's already raised you and you can't expect her to now raise your baby.
Just think about this.....don't you want the best for yourself and your baby?? Of course you do! That's why you should wait. You have your whole life ahead of you......be smart and do the right thing!

Good luck! :)

PS. Talk to some other teenage mothers if you can.....it will give you some perspective on the situation.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2004 12:25 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2004 1:25 am
Posts: 12
Location: southwest
Have you or your mother, or boyfriend not heard of STATUTORY RAPE???

OK, you might be in love or at least that is what it is feeling like right now, and you probably won't listen to your mom or anyone else for that matter, but DON'T DO IT NOW!! I only wish I could go back in time and be 15 again.......you are young, live it up, for oneday, the responsibilities/ and family will come and there will be no escaping them. Do what your mom says for right now, and wait it out till you are legal, I'm sure your boyfirend will understand, and if not LOSE HIM!!! Besides, you are still growing physically/ emotionally, your chances of having a healthy pregnancy are lowered due to your age. This could cause major complications for you and your baby, why chance it? Have you even been to an OB/GYN? Had a pap smear (which you should once you become sexually active)? Be RESPONSIBLE, wait it out :)


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 Post subject: reason I chose to wait
PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2004 1:07 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2004 11:25 am
Posts: 7
I know how you feel...I went through that...I was 16 when I wanted a baby so badly. See, in my family having kids young was like genetic. my grandma had my mom young and my mom had my brother young. So, naturally I wanted a baby young. The guy i was with, and am still with now(weve been together for 4 years now) also wanted kids, he's 3 years older than I am. I thought about all the possibilities...and the money that it takes to raise a child, and I was just a kid myself. I didnt wanna have to give up my childhood to raise a child so young. You'd miss dances, and after school functions, sports, friends. No teenager should have to go through that...and most of all you'd miss being able to dress your son or daughter for their first dance and telling them how great the night was!My own mother and I talked about this when I went to my junior prom, and she cried because she saw how perfect I looked and she was sad she missed hers. Theres a lot of time left in this world to have kids, hun. You are young and have your future ahead of you. And a lot of people change, you might not be with this guy in the future. And I know a lot of people that decide together they want kids, and decide after the fact that its too much responsibility. Take your time hun. Graduate highschool...move onto college if you want. Allow yourself the options. I think you should wait. But I have seen people make it with kids at a young age. I hoped I helped...but once again....the decision is always yours!
Jen :roll:


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2004 4:42 am 
Hey sweetie, im 16. and ... im a day late. I have a lot of symptoms, alot!! and ive been throwing up every night. this coming from someone whos ever thrown up once in her life. i Love the father of this ... could be baby to be... very much. VERY VERY much. and im having difficulty deciding what im going to do if i am pregnant as well. :?: My life lines say that i become independant early, and start a life very early in my life... and i dont even know if im pregnant yet... and i already feel as though i love this baby more than anything in the whole world. I want it soooo bad... not only because i love babies. but... because the person whos baby id share this with.. is the most incredible person ever... and if i had this baby, he would be in my life forever, no matter what. I honestly... have no idea what to tell you. i..m having a hard time even... figuring it out for myself. im just... letting you know that, your not crazy, and that even though ppl say that you are... its not crazy for you to want a baby. especially if its with someone who means so much to you. Its not crazy to want to start a life, just... make sure its the life you want, because you cant take it back if its not what you expected. as much as i know how hard that is to hear. i keep trying to tell myself that it will ruin his life... and most likely ruin mine... but... i just dont see how something you love so much, could ever ruin your life. because if you love something so much, how could your life be ruined? youll never be alone... ever. :roll:


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:38 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2004 8:45 pm
Posts: 7
Location: California, United States
Hi there! First of all if anyone needs someone to talk to or wants to talk to me, my AIM screename is XxLoVexiSxrEaLxX.
Okay. Now I understand that you like the whole baby idea....its a cute cuddly thing that loves you without reason...AND RELIES ON YOU FOR EVERYTHING. I am a teenager suffering the consequences of unprotected sex. Although I am lucky that my boyfriend loved me enough to agree when my father forced us into marriage and living together, I still am not happy with my pregnancy. Its a life alteration. While you are pregnant, your parents and peers look down or at you, you have to leave school eventually, you lose a lot of education, half of the time the dad doesnt even follow through on commitment and so much more. And you may get more than you bargained for like me....I'm pregnant with twins and barely 15! Then you will have the middle-of-the-night care sessions, the crying, restless baby who refuses to sleep, even more dirty looks, etc. Just remember its not all fun and games!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:53 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 17, 2004 10:59 pm
Posts: 147
Location: Georgia
Hey sweetheart. First of all, I have to say I was almost exactly in your shoes. I was 16 and my boyfriend was 18. Well we were a little older but anyways we were the same way. We want a baby and all the cute stuff that comes along with it. We didn't tell anyone. But, finally we really sat down and talked about it. WE, being young teenagers, could not afford a baby. First of all do you know how much they cost?? I mean you would have to have money to have a place to live with it, money for you, your boyfriend, and baby to eat with... money for clothes....money for bills... I mean there is A LOT To THINK ABOUT. Also, you'll want to buy it toys and stuff and if you don't have the money to buy and it says "But why mommy??" I mean seriously what would you say?? You wouldn't want to bring a baby in the world and not be able to buy it and your family things. So sit down and think about it with all your heart and think about the baby's heart. And just to let you know... I am now 18 and he is 20 (which is young to a lot of people) and we are still together, which just as much love, getting married on Friday April 23 and expecting our first baby on August 29. I know this seems backwards... getting pregnant, then married but we didn't plan it ... it just happened and now we are more mature, financially ready for a baby. So before you make any LIFE LONG decisions really think about your life and the life of the baby. Let it be able to live a fulfilled life like you would want.


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 Post subject: I tried it
PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2004 11:28 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 11:16 am
Posts: 2
I am 18 and I have a four year old. I got pregnant in the eigth grade. My Boyfriend and I could not support her and now my mom has to. You really meed to think this over and be sure that you are financially ready. I work three jobs and go to school and I still don't make enough. Plus, I can't give Lisa the stable home environment she deserves. My baby was planned. We thought it would be cool. We didn't tell anyone. I love lisa soooo much, and that is why it hurts so much. After the baby was born, my boyfreind, also older, who had said he support us financially, left because he couldn't stand being tied down. I lost him, and Lisa lost a daddy. I hate to see her look at other kids with daddies and go, "I wish i had a daddy". :cry: Think about it.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 12:10 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 1:23 am
Posts: 118
Location: Canada
Ok i dont know if the comment of RAPE was necessairy , but i guess some worlds and people dont think the same at all . Age has alot to do with it yes , but maturity has even more to do with it . When you think about baby alot of girls dont think about the OTHER PART that come with it , all they think about is cute , cuddly, and sometimes they use it as a way of keeping someone they love when that person is about to walk out on them..

i think you should really talk and think this over and your mother is somehow right on some bases and youll thank her later ;) take care and good luck


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 7:57 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2004 9:14 am
Posts: 10
you know all girls feel the same way at that age believe me. i saw girls getting pregnant and having the cute bellies and everything but hah its not all cut fun and cute games it takes a lot of work. if you think your ready ask these questions to yourself... do you yourself have enough money to support you, your boyfriend and a baby? where are you going to stay? if you are planning to move out of your parents house do you have enough money in one pay period to pay for every single on of your bills?(electric/gas/taxes/insurance) do you even have a job? do you go to school? if so how do you plan to go to school while taking care of a baby?

all these questions dont even cover half of the questions you need to answer in order for you to know if your ready to do this. you may think your "in love" but watch when you get pregnant your so called "man" will go nuts on you in an instant. with my boyfriend we found out we were pregnant the first time and we had an abortion because we simply didnt have the money for it. we promised over and over again that we will never have another abortion ever again. now im 12 weeks pregnant for the 2nd time and when i told him the news he changed to a different person. he doesnt care how i feel about it and wants an abortion right away. i had to fight with him to keep this baby and till this day he still doesnt want it. i have the support of my parents and friends. although i know this takes two people i still know its going to be hard even with the support. im telling you love is blind. your too young to do this. please you dont want to miss out on anything now that your still 15. i wish i was still 15. im 19 now and i just graduated high school. i should be in college or at least starting college but i cant im pregnant i need to save as much as i can for this baby. i go to work everyday i wake up at 5:30 am everyday and you know what its not fun at all. think about it long and hard. my advice to you is live up your teenage years. yo uwont regret it.

Image


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 10:42 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:58 pm
Posts: 143
The average cost to raise a child for one month is over $800. That doesn't include daycare.

Somehow I doubt you're asking this question here to really get insight on having a baby and more trying to find some one to support a very irrational decision. There's a lot more to having a baby than you realize. Try doing the following for about a week:
Have some one randomly set your alarm to go off about four or five different times between the hours 10 pm and 5 am. When it goes off wake up and stay awake for 45 minutes to an hour. Now remember you have to wake up, no hitting snooze. The baby doesn't have a snooze button.
Buy some formula. During these late night awakenings prepare a bottle. Watch how quickly the formula goes. Keep the cost of it in mind.
Wake up at 5 am, even on Saturday. A baby doesn't know the meaning of weekends. Continue making bottles every four hours. Watch the formula disappear. Now figure out how many cans of formula you'll need in one month. Multiply that by the cost of that one can you bought. If you can't do the math, then give up the idea of a baby right here until you can figure it out.
Now don't cheat and do this a week that you're not in school. Continue going to class even though you're sleep deprived. You'll have to do this anyway with a child unless you choose not to complete school. If that is the case, get a ten pound sack of potatoes and carry them around with you everywhere looking for some place to hire you without a diploma. Be sure to make note of how much they will be paying you and how many hours you will be getting. Figure out what you would gross and subtract one third for taxes. If you can't do this type of math, rethink the dropping out of school.
If you choose the school route find some one to make the formula every four hours for you while you're in class. Pay that person $20 a day (which is very cheap). If you say that your mom will do it for free, stop right there. If she wanted to do all this she would have another child herself.
If at the end of the week you think that you're even in the mood for sex do it for another week.

That's just feeding the child. Now take into account that you have to bathe the child, change him, take him to the doctor, shop for him, wash his clothes and many more things. Don't forget that at some point in time you have to shower and brush your teeth.

Also if you think your boyfriend is going to stick around, then tell him you want to get married before you have a baby. If he's not willing to make that commitment run away. A baby lasts longer than many marriages these days.


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