|
|
|
|
Posted by Carla on January 31, 2003 at 21:36:37:
Let me begin by saying that I am not a horrible person. My problem is that my 5-month-old baby throws screaming fits for a good portion of the day, and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. She is totally inconsolable. She doesn't want to eat, sleep, play, be held, swing, nothing. We've ruled out colic because, first of all, most babies outgrow it by this age, and second, she's never displayed the classic signs of colic. She doesn't scream like she's in pain. It's more like she's just angry with the world. She has done it since she was 2 weeks old, and I think this is just her personality. The real issue is my inability to deal with it. I get so angry and frustrated that I've actually yelled at my poor baby and said terrible things, along the lines of, "I wish you were never born" and "What did I do to deserve such a horrible baby?" The second these things come out of my mouth, I feel awful because I don't really mean them, I just say them out of anger and frustration. You have to believe me when I say that I love my child more than life itself. I would never physically hurt her, but at least 6 nights out of the week, we end up in a position where we're both crying and very upset. People always say to just put her in her crib and leave the room until I feel better, but a) we live in an apartment, so I can't get away from the screaming, b) as long as she continues screaming, I don't feel better, even if I do leave the room, and c) I don't want her to feel like I won't be there when she needs me. Has anyone else ever had this problem? If so, what did you do about it? I'm so tired of feeling like my daughter is just hopelessly unhappy with life. And I'm even more tired of feeling like there's nothing I can do to make her feel better. Any advice or kind words would be appreciated. If you have something negative to say, please keep it to yourself, as I hate myself enough as it is. Thank you for listening.
This page