Baby Wise & CARING, WELL RESTED parents

Posted by Marilyn on April 30, 2001 at 16:56:42:

In Reply to: BabyWise - Not for parents who care posted by m hackenberg on April 26, 2001 at 13:46:48:

After reading the ridiculous response regarding Baby Wise in which someone suggests that parents who have discovered the benefits of Baby Wise are uncaring, I had to respond for fear that other mothers might actually believe that nonsense. I read Baby Wise when I was pregnant with my first daughter, now 3. The program made perfect sense to me, as I had seen, through my friends, the horrendous effects of letting children sleep with their parents, feeding them every time they so much as wimpered etc. My daughter responded in the most amazing way and was sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. She is still a terrific sleeper, sleeping for 11-12 hours a night and napping without ever making a peep each afternoon. She was always put to sleep awake, per the Baby Wise book, and has never, ever had any sleeping problems. She now has a newborn sister, (12 weeks)who is so far, doing far better than my friend's babies who are still waking up and eating once or twice at night. It is a little harder with the second one because my 3 year old is involved in some activities which require me to drive her places at certain times and pick her up etc, and I have much more going on this time around, which makes it a little difficult to put the baby down for a nap after each cycle. But she's doing great and I have no complaints...only praise for the Baby Wise book. And there is no "closing the door and walking away" with a crying baby left behind because SHE'S SLEEPING! Personally, there are very few things people did 100 years ago that I would recommend doing today...just because people slept with their babies then (out of sheer necessity, mind you) doesn't mean it's good for the baby. I have numerous friends who've made that mistake and they either still have three year old elbows in their face all night long or are trotting to their children's rooms several times a night to "help them go back to sleep"...all while I'm sleeping soundly, as are my husband and my two daughters. Fifteen years ago no one wore seat belts...that doesn't mean it's OKAY to do this now! And personally, I don't care if Mr. Ezzo is a busboy...if his advice works and is beneficial and not harmful in any way to my child, I'm thankful. And well rested. Quite frankly, I've read some really stupid things written by "parenting experts" like Dr. William Sears, which made me laugh. (He advocates sleeping with your children and other prehistoric things that have always backfired for those I know who've tried them) And for the record, my three year old is well adjusted, trusting, caring and incredibly loving. We're raising ADULTS here. Babies rely on us to guide them and structure their lives so they can learn to be well adjusted adults. The idea that a baby will not trust you because you teach them to comfort themselves and fall back to sleep on their own is ludicrous. They won't learn to do these things if you're always doing it for them. And by allowing your child to learn these things, it is my experience that you will end up with a happy, healthy, independent child who does not rely on you to baby her. Do what you feel is best. But don't rule out Baby Wise before you've read it and tried it. If you want your baby to sleep through the night and learn to comfort herself if she wakes up, this is your book. Sweet dreams!

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