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Posted by Elizabeth on August 03, 2003 at 13:08:46:
In Reply to: i'm pregnant and alone posted by bridget on August 03, 2003 at 07:19:25:
: hi, my boyfriend just recently left me and i've been distraught since. i want him back so bad because i love him. i haven't eaten well or slept for over a week. my friends are afraid to leave me along because i might hurt myself. but a few days ago, i realized that i was due for a period and still didn't have one. i took a home pregnancy test and it was positive. i went to a doctor for a second opinion and it was positive. but she also told me that she's classifying me under a "high-risk" pregnancy. this is because of my history: i took drugs at one point in my life and have been a heavy smoker for 10 years. add to this the fact that i failed to eat right prior to finding out. i have never taken vitamins regularly either. there is a high chance i might miscarry or if i carry this to term, i might get hurt. i've already told my boyfriend but we haven't sat down to talk about it. i don't know what to do. i'm confused, afraid and so alone. what i need is support from him and assurance that he will be there. i don't think i can go through this alone. but i don't want him to feel like he has no choice. help! Take care and please keep us posted.
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I am sorry to hear you are having difficulties. Are your parents around? If at any point you do have feelings of hurting yourself, you need to seek counseling immediately. Did you stop using drugs and smoking? If not, you need to stop. And you need to start eating right, also take prenatal vitamins. There is a high-risk of the baby being born with defects especially heart defects. He may also be born addicted to drugs in which case the doctor will give him drugs and wean down slowly so it will not cause withdrawals and cause the baby to have seizures. Because you are classified as high-risk, the doctors will be monitoring you more closely and order special tests to make sure the baby is okay, etc. How do you feel about your baby at this point? The most important thing right now to think about is you and your baby. As far as your boyfriend is concerned, you need to sit down and talk to him and tell him exactly what you told us including the part where you said you don't want him to feel like he has no choice. If he decides to be with you and the baby, that is great. If he doesn't, you need to try to learn to be happy with your baby. It is not the end of the world and does not mean you will be alone the rest of your life. You will have your baby and maybe even some day find someone who will be there for you and your baby. Your baby also feels your sadness and can affect him.