Re: Another NonSleeping Child

Posted by Dad on September 15, 2000 at 09:51:29:

In Reply to: Another NonSleeping Child posted by Anj on September 10, 2000 at 14:07:55:

Well, I'm afraid I can't offer any advice other than to stick to the Ferber method... especially if it worked before.

For the Mom who's daughter threw up... this is not uncommon. She's gotten used to having things one way, and it's a learning process to switch. This will take some time. And since your daughter is older and much more aware than your average 5 month old... it's going to be even harder and take even longer. You have to expect this.

To alleviate any guilt you might feel... keep telling yourself that she is crying because she is tired and wants to sleep... and she has to learn how to do it on her own. Granted, throwing up is scary and upsetting... Simply clean her up, clean up her bed, and do your level best to stick with it. The throwing up and crying WILL stop, and she WILL learn to sleep on her own after a few days (or possibly into a week or so). Remember, everyone eventually learns how to sleep on their own... there aren't many adults who still cry themselves to sleep every night.

It might help to try to explain to your daughter what you are doing and why before you put her down. Babies (even that young) understand quite a bit more than we would think. This actually worked for my son. I was shocked... but I simply explained to him how it was and why it was... and he accepted it.

For the Mom for whom the Ferber method worked once before... simply remember that she learned to do this once before... she can learn to do it again. She's testing you... testing the limits you are imposing. Giving in and letting her play is sending the message that if she cries enough, she'll get her way.

Good luck to you both. I know it's tough, but it will get better. When I was up at 3:00am sometimes I'd call directory assistance just to remind myself that I'm not the only one in the world who's awake at that hour. The operators usually just laughed and would sometimes offer advice.

And, as I always do, I recommend reading "Sleeping Through The Night" by Dr. Jodi Mindell. Great book!

Dad

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