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Posted by Rowena on November 30, 2002 at 23:58:26:
In Reply to: To Jessi and Debbie posted by Jamie C on November 30, 2002 at 21:36:59:
Hi Jamie I have used this approach in the past with mixed results. It often works best with children who have a very placid temperament. Donovan sounds like a very determined little soul, with a mind of his own. This would mean it would still work, just that you would need to be more determined than Donovan and have the patience of a saint. Possibly the mixed results I have had using this approach in the past were due to the fact that I didn't have the patience required, so then opted for a tougher approach. Day 1: Sit on the end of his bed until he falls asleep. You would need to follow the same steps for all his sleeps day, evening and during the night, in order to provide consistency. While you are with him make it very boring for him, no facial expression, a boring but firm voice. Send him the message that "Mummy is not here to play or to help you fall asleep". Don't talk to him except to say in a firm but calm voice "Lie down" or "Go to sleep". Avoid eye contact sit with your side facing him (you can read a book if you wish). Avoiding eye contact can be a tough one, as he will try to engage your attention with all the charm he can muster. When a child has a beautiful beaming smile it is hard not to respond but this may send the message "It's play time". He may become a little angry when he realise you are not there to play or help him to fall asleep. Be patient this will pass. If tries to get of his bed you have two choices. You can either pick him up and put him straight back into bed with minimum attention and say "Lie down. Go to sleep" and keep doing this (even if it takes a hundred times) until he realises it is just not worth the energy to get off because "Mummy is just going to put me back to bed again". Or you could try a tougher approach and warn him "Stay on the bed or Mummy will leave". He is likely to test you out, so you need to be prepared to follow though with this threat (No second chances, he has to know Mummy means what she says). But return within a few minutes and pop him back to bed and try again. He will get the picture, if he wants Mummy to stay in the room with him he has to stay on his bed. Provided you are firm and consistent, getting off the bed usually only occurs during the first day (and night). I hope this helps to at least give some glimmer of hope that you can resolve this problem. As I mentioned there is a tougher approach but I would am reluctant to use this for children under 2 years.
This page
Here is an approach that may be worth a try to assist Donovan to resume his previously good night time sleep habits. It's similiar to Steve's recommendations about sleeping beside him.
Day 2: Sit on a chair a few feet away from his bed until he falls asleep.
Day 3: Sit on a chair near the door until he falls alseep.
Day 4: Sit on a chair outside the bedroom door but visible to Donovan until he falls asleep.
Day 5: Come and go at very regular intervals of 2 or 3 minutes. Saying to him "I will be back in a minute. Go to sleep" make sure you do return.
Day 6 plus: Continue to extend the time you are away. Give some excuse but promise to return and do so.